Enchanted Life Twenty-Three 30 October '06 Monday

Yes. Cedrick has reminded me to blog about the pathetic state of me early this morning when i entered the exam hall. There was a bit of confusion and the whole situation was super chaotic because the sitting plan was the other direction so everyone got their own seats mixed up, including me. Anyway, it's not my fault because i saw the sticker with my name on it pasting on the side of the table so i was quite sure i was suppose to sit there BUT i was wrong.

In the end, i was looking like an idiot, the only sec. 3 sitting at the back of the third column with the rest of the sec. 3s on the 5th column right at the front of the hall. I was grumbling and whining to myself whether heaven's playing a trick on me or what and soon i find myself being called to sit in between Ah Mui and cedrick. So, it was all along misunderstanding. Dumb Me. I moved 4 times in total before getting to the right place. Really feel like an idiot.

Okay, i can still laugh happily though my back hurts a lot. I think it got worse even though i can now straighten my back a bit because i really can't bear slouching all the afternoon. *sigh* people calling me to see doctors or to go to the hospitals. hello? People who know me really really well, like my mummy, will know that all along i don't like going to see doctors and going to hospitals.

Yes, for no reasons i just don't like seeing doctors and the sight of hospitals kind of frighten me. Haha. If i'm visiting someone, i won't feel anything, but if i'm going there for any appointments, i'm going to feel rather sick. No doctors and hospitals for Y2. =) So, i'll let my back recovered by itself.

Do Not Frighten Me With All The Illnesses or Diseases I Might Be Getting Just Because I Mentioned That I've Got A Terrible 'BackAche' (You can call that). What
Mengijitis? No idea what's that. Ha Ha. Hmm, feeling very uneasy today though it as been rather a happy day if you don't mention about my MT papers. +) Oh Ya! Lots of People Dao Me Today. Of course there were some like winnie, bao hui and lee lian who came to us and wish us good luck BUT some DAO me lor... Then i was like waving to the air. So dui lian. *BOX THEM ALL* HAHA!!

Enchanted Life Twenty-Two 30 October '06 Monday

OuCH! The pain is killing me. It goes all the way from the back of my neck to the bottom of my backbone. So, the whole spine hurts and no matter how i stretched and tried massaging it, the pain just refused to go away. I tried sleeping in a different way yesterday, hoping that by doing so, i could get rid of the pain but well, seems like it didn't work. I just have to straighten my back a bit and the pain will worsen. However, i feel so uncomfortable slouching all the time! What a bother!

Okay, i'm currently using two computers at the same time! Hehe... Here blogging and whining and there playing games in slow speed so as to make sure that i'm able to juggle between the two computers. What a nice feeling! I love mulit-tasking because it gives me a sense of achievement. Ha Ha! Yes, I'm currently breaking down. Going to break down in my usual way... No no... maybe you can say i've broke down so gaming would means repairing myself. Duh! Lame. Uh? So confusing... I'm always making things difficult for myself. I can't get what i've typed. Dumb Me.

Okay now guess what i'm playing now? Roller Coaster Tycoon 3! ha ha... i manage to got it from Weslie and i didn't have a chance to play it during exams, so now i shall play... till i die! I was searching high and low for it, almost thought i lost it. If i do, then it means hell because most probably i would be murdered by the owner of Roller Coaster Tycoon 3. =) Okay shh... He's having his A levels so he won't be reading this post... so he won't know about this... and so... yes... i'm safe. =)

Hmm, i just came back from school. It was a terrible day for me. I was so distracted by the pain i'm experiencing, i'm unable to focus half-way through paper 2. I was unable to sit properly, moving about, with one of my hands supporting my back and another writing. Aw... what's happening? I hope i'll feel better after a few days.

Okay, wondering what i was talking about, right? Yes, i had my O levels Mother Tongue Papers today. Paper one was pretty bad. I spent half an hour doing Gong Han when half-way through it, i find myself unable to continue that letter so i spent another 5 min thinking whether if i should change to Si Han instead. There are two factors i have to think about. One would be time constraint and another would be if Si Han is easier...

It was a difficult choice you-see and i decided i shall do Bao Zhang bao Dao first. So, i skipped a few page and come to another fresh clean page. Starting afresh really did help because as i write the new essay, so many junks and ideas and words and phrases just Poof! pop into my head... However, i still find the information and details i've written down for Bao Zhang bao Dao insufficient and i won't be able to score well for it. =(

Hmm, i look at the clock. It was 9 when i finished Bao Zhang Bao Dao... So, you can see i finished Bao Zhang bao Dao within 25 min. Oh My God! Dead this time, definitely! Started Si han without much thinking and find myself dumb as in why i started Gong Han instead of Si Han. Si han was so much easier! Like what happened earlier on, as i start on my Si han, every piece of information i need flash across my mind. Unfortunately, i only manage to write a very brief one, not a detailed one, due to time constraint. Yes. I'm doomed! Finished! It's the end of me. I have everything i need but i lack one very important thing. I lacked time. *sigh a million times*

Paper 2 was even worst with my back killing me and time limit again. Of course another thing which really made me feel like killing. The answer sheet sucks! It was not the usual answer sheet we had, with the papers stapled together. We just had to flipped through. This idiotic answer sheet was different! It was made up of 3 pieces of papers joined together and you have to turn it.

how do i explain? For example you're holding on to the answer booklet. Then, you flipped the first page to the Left. The next page you see was not page 2 but page 5! Know Why? Try it out yourself by stacking 3 pieces of paper together and flipped the first one open to the left and the second one to the right. See what you get! And imagine the sides of the 3 pieces of papers JOINED together! ArGH!

I was fooled by it and i wrote the answer which i was supposed to write on the third page PAGE 5. sounds confusing but you really have to try it out and BE SMART to understand it... Yes, you guys are all smarter then me so i don't think any of you will ever made the mistakes i've made today. I recopied my answer i've written down on page 5 to page 2 and it wasted me quite some time. I didn't manage to complete the paper. Aw... i was utterly disappointed now because it would means not much chance of acing this paper. I'm going to be kicked out of HMT class very soon... Sheesh! It's not a good thing. It's certainly not one! *shake head* *sigh a billion times*

Now, what i can do is to wait for miracle to happen to me, which seems so impossible... Hopeless.

Enchanted Life Twenty-One 29 October '06 Sunday

The following is a translation of a summary of producer Hwang's press conference on September 15th, 2006.

Producer Hwang achieved success in early 2006 with new style Goong and encountered several problems during his preparations for Goong 2. He needs to overcome the extreme pressure resulting from Goong in order for Goong 2 to succeed. He will be replacing the 4 leads Joo Ji Hoon, Yoon Eun Hye, Kim Jung Hoon, Song Ji Hyo. He had wanted original cast so that Goong 2 has continuity as a series but then everyone had their own timetable and did their own thing and he couldn't achieve his wish. All 4 leads became overnight stars because of Goong. During the press conference, Producer Hwang expressed dissatisfaction with some of the cast. Only Kim Jung Hoon was able to confirm his participation but since the others said they could not join the cast, Producer Hwang said there was no point. Some actors/actresses did not even answer his calls. He's now debating whether to recruit a totally new actor to act the role of the Chinese restaurant delivery boy who suddenly finds himself moving into the palace as a prince, or to get an experienced actor .. he's looking for a male "Yoon Eun Hye" as there will be comical moments during his struggles to adjust to being a prince, but there will also be reflective moments. Goong 2 will tie up whatever loose ends from Goong 1. Some of the sets will be modified for the storyline and new sets will also be built and production costs will be on higher scale. The final cast will be announced in the coming autumn as production is starting in Oct. The rest of the article talks about the commercial aspect and profit making concerns of the tv stations and that Korean production companies are not making enough profits, resulting in maybe the only top 10 such companies will be able to survive. There was concern about Producer Hwang's project due to his age and the fact that he used newbies, but he has managed to make Goong a great success.

Credits to Baidu.com for the article; Translation by jolee@soompi; fan comments by jen of beautifulvoices bbs

I'm utterly disappointed. *Sob Sob* With the changing of the main cast actors and actresses, i see no point of watching. I shall disacknowledge gong 2. I used to hate the director for changing the casts but after his explanations i don't hate him that much now. A little perhaps because he didn't want to wait for the actors and actresses. Though they are busy now but he can wait for the time when they are less busy mah. Can't he wait?

No patience kills a tiger. Gong 2 won't be making it to the public. It will died half-way through or maybe not even half, just the beginning you will see it not fetching the same impact as what gong has made to the public. The director will then regret not waiting for the actors and actresses and you will see Gong 2 a failure and he wil find himself wasting effort in making Gong 2. Who are the ones who are not answering the director's calls? Don't tell me they are the original main casts hor... That will ruin the image of them in my heart. Feel like killing now. *Argh!* So depressed. Broken-hearted. ='( What a run-down day!

Enchanted Life Twenty 29 October '06 Sunday

My Latest Msn Nick for the day: "Don't Like Copy貓 (copyMao). Everyone is a copy貓s (CopyMaos), it just depends whether you're a BIG MAO OR A SMALL ONE. HAHAHA!!"

Yes. Hate copymaos especially the BIG ones. I've enough of her! She kept pestering me to help her upload some junks to her blog and it seems those junks are the same as mine. I don't mind having the same junks but i hate it when she didn't ask for permission. Argh! And she still has the cheek to ask for help from me. Oh My God! It's driving me crazy and i can't bring myself to reject her offer. Nevermind. I shall... forgive and forget. Hopefully, i can. *sigh a hundred times*

Okay, motive for coming here would be... to blog! Simple! Ha Ha! I had enough of writing and writing the same old things, those rubbish that i hope i can dump them all into my brain within seconds. Shall resume my job as a rubbish collector later on...

Hmm, first i'll talk about my back then about YEC THEN ABOUT my latest SWEET SWEET SUPER SWEET dream! Whee!!! Hahaha *smiling non-stop* *smile till cheeks ache* Ho Ho Ho!

Yes. My back, it's aching since i don't know when... hmm, most probably last 2 days. I feel my heavy shoulder adding more weight to my backbone that it's going to break any moment. However, i cna't rest now because after blogging, i have to dig my way back to the books, worksheets and MORE BOOKS AND WORKSHEETS! Maybe because of that i even dream about... Haha. I shall keep that surprise until i'm finish with the YEC thingy that i was hoping to tell everyone. It's a piece of good news By The Way.

Yay! First of all, my haunted house which lacked manpower in the beginning shall now announce that... WE ARE NOW NO LONGER LACK OF MANPOWER! HAHAHA!! Duh! So Lame, right? Hehe... but i'm really happy about it! I was so damn worried about the insufficiency in manpower that i can't sleep well you-know? Cedrick + Timothy have decided to join in the preparation + the carnival day itself. Wow! It's going to be so fun LAH.

Of course! At first, the few of them (Cedric, Liting + Weslie) who can't confirm whether they can make it on the day of the carnival have already SAID and AGREED that they're able to make it! Yes! That means more people! Whee!!! What a lucky day! Ho Ho Ho... Now i get the meaning of Chuan Dao Qiao Tou Zhi Ran Zhi... Let Nature takes its course and you'll find that everything is running smoothly though you might find it rocky sometimes... but that's only an illusion. Dumb Me.

Okay Now the last thing of the day! I dreamt about my twin soul early this morning i-guess. It was rather sweet though i forgot some parts of the dream which was so damn Ke Xi... I was in a room with my twin soul and was doing some massaging i-suppose. haha. Cool isn't it? My back was aching (in reality) but i was massaging someone's back (in my dream). Weird but sweet... I find it sweet somehow to do those things that someone (who i like and...) who find it so stress and breathless to be in that career ... just want to comfort him lor. I feel so real in that dream as if it's really happening in reality but that feeling soon faded and i woke up. *sigh*

It's so hard to explain and express it in words that i'm... speechless... at... the moment... and stuttering though i'm typing, NOT talking. Dumb Me. Hehe. It's my way of comforting someone i love i-guess. You don't question him about something that bothers him but small actions that's comforting his feelings. Making him smile everyday. (I could see myself smiling too. Dumb Me.) Kekeke...eeee....m....mm... I... Sometimes, i wonder if i find career more important or love... I've always believe i'll find love while persuing that career i've always wanted because i simply LOVE singing. This is confusing.

Anyway, I had 2 dreams in the morning but i forgot one and only manage to remember this one. Well, i wonder too sometimes if i would take more sincerity in Loving my family or someone in future (most likely my hubby-to-be). I find myself stupid thinking of that sometimes because i'm still 15 this year BUT people reading this post... you don't find yourself thinking of that sometimes? Questioning yourself about lots of things but you refused to tell anyone, keeping it to yourself, let it rot and attract flies. However, you do find answers after that.

Questions like what will happen to us when we die? Can we still feel when we died? What is the feeling of being overcome by death?Whoosh... Lots. Spirits really exist? What will happen in the future? Will laser really be developed into weapons? Are there aliens in this world? Are the legends true? Is there heaven? What will you do after you died? If you go through reincarnation, what life you want to lead? What is love? Are they really what is shown on Television?

Some questions are rather offending... Haha. Bear with me if you're really offended... Are my parents really in love with each other? They know it's true love? Are my parents my parents? (sometimes i do imagine my parents going outside and just swop with some other people who has got the exact same face as them and come back pretending to be my parents) Alamak. Sounds confusing.

I find modern people very dead and fake. I find them unable to experience true love and that true love has somewhat became extinct LONG AGO because humans have changed, shaping themselves into some cold-blooded creatures (not totally cold-blooded) and so they are NOW unable to experience true love.

We are the ones that are destroying the LIFE in humans. you got it? Those pure and innocent soul have gradually turned evil as we grow, we have learn to think so deeply, it's so hard to PURIFY everything, especially humanity.

Imagine ourselves stuck in the world of innocence, will there be wars? will there be greed? People will live in honesty and integrity. There will be true love because we're truthful to each other. It may not be the words we speak, but the feelings we show. We show true feelings. I'm thinking very deeply now. hah! I wish i can purify my mind. Shall stay simply from now on...

Youngsters think a lot and more deeply then adults, SOMETIMES. We complicate lots of things in life that we will soon simplify it slowly as we turn into adulthood. Trust me. I'm experiencing it now though not totally... Wish i could remain a kid then, with no thoughts and no troubles.

True Love Has Extinct long time ago though in drama they still show it (not totally show because true love don't behave this way). I don't know how to explain that but love, to me, is a behavior. You behave in a weird way and to me it's a silly way. your mind don't really think that much. You become a bit gong-dai-dai and blur, somewhat as shown in drama, you're blinded. you smile unknowingly to the walls and turn into a real dreamer... dream a lot lah! He happy, you happy. He sad, you feel uncomfortable and you want to comfort him. He teased you, you feel like boxing him but you feel a slight sweetness lingering in your heart. even if he smells or stinks, you accept him as what he is. He reprimanded you, you feel rather sorry and maybe confused? you think he's right always! you believe what he said and trust him totally. you go ditz. you love being this way. you... alamak. I'm blurting rubbish here. all nonsense. just ignore me. =)

This description makes me want to find my "HIM". Twin Soul! Haha. silly me. *blush* Oh My God! Imagine me saying all these? I can't believe my eyes! I can't believe myself! Hah!

Enchanted Life Nineteen 27 October '06 Friday

Just came back from YEC meeting. Hah! It was so MESSY so I called it Mess Meeting. Bahaha! Anyway, I'll curse Cedrick and Timothy for breaking their promises. Of course I know it's not their fault but they should have at least inform me beforehand. *cursing timothy now*

Well, spending 30 min here to blog then the rest would be work, Work, WORK and MORE WORK. Cool~ Gonna go crazy! I love a busy life though it's stressful and sometimes a bit hectic for a DUMB BLUR person like me. I'll simply mess up everything if it's too heavy for me to take it and cause so much commotions and problems. Some superheros will have to stand up to help clear that mess i've created.

I won't be blogging i-guess for the next two days due to the upcoming O level papers. Alamak. haha. Going to do my best, hopefully. =S I'm not very confident to score a distinction for the papers BUT i know for sure that i've the support from my friends and family. I doubt my parents know about me taking the papers... ha ha. Should i tell them about it? No idea. No No! I don't think so. That will means more pressure for me. Shall not be so dumb to pressurize myself furthur. Too Much stress is not good for health. HEHE.

I'll be blogging more about my Malaysia Trip after the Papers, so keep a look out if you don't mind reading long posts. The longing and strange feeling for Princess Hour has faded though i'm still crazy over it. However, some painful yet sweet memories have been flashing across my mind anytime. I don't know when i'll recall all those memories, it just come and go anytime. Yes, i'm troubled but not really feeling depressed about it. It grew stronger each day and i'm wondering if it's ...

HAHAHA. impossible. I'm not prepared for it so well, shall put it aside and focus on something more real and that i'm certain about. I've many responsilibities to bear and i can't afford to give up now. Ganbatte! Sayonara!

Enchanted Life Eighteen 26 October '06 Thursday

I really had a good laugh over this thingy which also kind of confused me. Haha. Some of the No. 1, i can't really get the meaning seh. So Chim. Oh Ya, Thanks Nicole for sending me this e-mail...

The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Y2: Actually we're all wrong, the seat should be covered after using so as to prevent mosquitoes from breeding. (Tt's a real fact!)

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Y2: Guys do shop! Though i don't shop much. ha ha.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.

Y2: Dah! This is confusing. I totally can't understand it.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

Y2: Another chim one!

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Y2: ?? Huh??

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

Y2: yeah, agree.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Y2: DOubt anyone here can understand this one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Y2: Hey! This is super not right. Gentleman don't act this way. Consider yourself a XXX.. hehe.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Y2: That applies to the females too!

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

Y2: Who the hell is Chirstopher Columbus? No idea.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

Y2: I love black and white. It's true! It's nice what...

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

Y2: Huh? itchy then scratch lah don't have to make that into a rule. Lame.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Y2: Yeah! Because you're always talking crap. Ha Ha. Sometimes, it's fun to listen to craps and nonsense. =)

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, Or golf.

Y2: Haiyo! Wrong la, it's soccer! Anyway, most of the guys i know don't play/listen/watch sports(soccer).

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

Y2: I only have 1 pair of slippers, 1 pair of shoe, 1 pair of sport shoe and 1 pair of sandals. Hello? Too Many meh? Guys have more shoes then me.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Y2: Couch is a nice place to sleep, i-agree! haha. I can fall asleep right away upon touching the couch. Ha Ha.

Oooo... cool isn't it? Ha Ha. Enjoy reading it!

Enchanted Life Seventeen 25 October '06 Wednesday

Lucky Me! There won't be any choir practice on Friday. I'm having problem controlling my vocal now after talking non-stop from morning to the late afternoon. We're doing P6 Marketing, visiting 2 schools to promote our schools, making it appealing to the P6 so that we can attract those smarties into our schools to raise our school's average aggregate scores.

Whee! I hope i did a good job on that today. I've lost my voice after speaking for so many long hours and i wonder how teachers are going to teach, straining their voice every single day. Poor Teachers! I think they drink a cup of Pi Pa Gao Drink every night before turning in. Ha Ha.

It's a tedious job you-see but i did learn to approach others, building self-confidence and courage which i've always lack. Okay, I'm suppose to be talking about my malaysia trip, to share with you guys those FUN days i had. Damn. It's so obvious, it's nothing fun.

Day 1
Woke up at 5 in the morning. It was super tired day.
I wish i could reject going to malaysia. I'm pretty sure it's going to be a boring trip.
It took us 2 hours to reach Yong Peng which i ate a cup of sweet corn.
Bought a packet of batteries. Yipee! Time to enjoy!
Listening to Mp3 - Perhaps Love.
Then, we left to seacrh our ways to Tiara Beach Resort.
I slept throughout the trip, from Singapore to Yong Peng and from Yong Peng to Beach Resort.
We stopped a few times in between the journey to catch some snacks and to clear our bladder. Boo! So Tired!
Reach Tiara Beach Resort at around 3 i-guess. It was a newly-built resort with a big swimming pool + kids' pool with those funky kiddy playing areas in the pool.
There were hippo slide directed to the pool.
There were mushroom swing. Whatever you call it.
There were lots of people checking in and out.
Checked in.
Resort room was great.
There were 2 rooms.
My sister and I got ourselves a room.
Put our stuff and i slept, AGAIN.
Had a lunch with the rest of the people (my mummy's colleagues) at the resort's restaurant.
The food was okay. Quite sick, so i ate a little.
Back room, my mummy and baba wanted to bring my didito the pool.
I said i don't want to and went back to bed again. I slept till 6 or 7 (the time we'll be having our dinner)
Ha Ha. Woke up. Wash myself.
Went to game room with my didi. He spent 4 tokens within 20 seconds. How great! I've none left to play.
Feeling sian and fun-less.
Not interested anymore.
Went out of game room.
Went to a nearby restaurant, the Anna Thai restaurant.
I was super impressed by the service provided and the food was super delicious. Miss the Thai's cooking.
The people there were friendly and patient. I Love It. Anna Thai Rocks!
After Dinner, we went back to resort and to watch the movie that the resort was screening. I was snacking on ice-cream. Got myself in a mess (my shirt and shorts kena chocolate). Ha Ha.
Told mummy i'm tired and i went back to the room and slept at around 10.30.

Day 2
Went to the resort restaurant to have our breakfast.
The buffet was still, okay. Nothing special. Diluted Sarsi. Concentrated fruit punch. Others were looking like aliens so upon seeing it, you feel bloated.
Pack our stuff.
checked out - 11++.
On our way to Genting.
I slept throughout the journey.
Didn't really stop in between only when the cars need to replenish themselves with Petrol. Ha Ha.
Listening to Mp3 - Perhaps Love.
I wasn't feeling that well - motion sickness.
Struggling at the corner of the car.
My baba's car nearly broke down when we went up the mountain.
It was a lao ya car or maybe it's not, only when my baba doesn't know how to drive properly, using the wrong gear at the wrong time so everything went wrong.
The car was struggling together with me. I could hear it purr in delight when the car was moving on a straight and flat road.
However, it started crying, fighting back in terror, when the car was moving on a rocky and curvy road.
Reached Genting Alas!
It was super cooling there but there's no need to wear a jacket or sweater.
Maybe for me, ONLY.

back in a moment... wait for me.

Enchanted Life Eighteen 24 October '06 Tuesday

Home Alas! Miss You People! *a hundred hugs and kisses*

Bahaha!! I've been speaking chinese and improper english the last few days i'm so scared someone like me whose english suck like hell will actually stutter more when i try speaking PROPER english again tomorrow *pray hard*... wait wait. I'm busy currently so yes i'll blog slowly while settling some stuff... so to entertain you guys for at least 3 min... i'll show you something about me?

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.

That's so me MAN. Haha. Okay, Straight away i called Benny once i reach home because i heard Benny that on wednesday which is tomorrow, there will be a fundraising, and i know that everything is NOT prepared yet. This is bad. Anyway, he said there's no need to organise one since choir have decided not to go that malacca trip. How infuriating! I've been threatened to go malaysia. My mummy said if i don't go malaysia with them (my family), she won't allow me to go that Malacca Trip with Choir!!! Now that we won't be going, what is the use of going malaysia with them? Dumb Me! Urgh! I've just return from Malaysia. Got that "kena cheated" feeling.

Now, I'm super busy. Actually i've lots of things to settle and i'm given four days (saturday, sunday,monday,tuesday) to do but because we went to malaysia, i only have like 4 hours to settle all the stuff!!! I'm going bonkers! Wait wait. Be Right Back.

HAHAHA!!! spend 5 min on a quiz just now and it's so damn lame. Not very accurate. The answer i've gotten. It says that...

(1) Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference:

Cow, Tiger, Sheep, Horse, Pig

My Answer: Horse, Pig, toger, sheep, cow

Interpretation: This will define your priorities in your life.
Cow Signifies CAREER
Tiger Signifies PRIDE
Sheep Signifies LOVE
Horse Signifies FAMILY
Pig Signifies MONEY

I'm a money-faced i-agree BUT i think to-me Love and Career is super important to me. Thus, my conclusion is that this is NOT ACCURATE.

(2) Write one word that describes each one of the following: Dog, Cat, Rat, Coffee, Sea.

My Answer:
Dog = lovable
Cat = timid
Rat = cute
Coffee = yucks
Sea = mysterious

Interpretation:
Your description of dog implies your own personality.
Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner.
Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies.
Your description of coffee is how you interpret sex.
Your description of the sea implies your own life.

That makes me stupid, right? My enemy is cute? Sex is yucky? my own life is mysterious? I do agree with my own personality (which is lovable) HAHAHA! Thus, my conclusion is this test is ACCURATE to a certain extent. +)

(3) Think of someone, who also knows you and is important to you, which you can relate them to the following colors. Do not repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each color: Yellow, Orange, Red, White, Green.

My Answer: I go according to colours which i think match them and when i see that colour it reminds me of them SO hehe no comment.

Yellow = Nhat
Orange = Shaz
Red = Vanness
White = Ji Hoon 주지훈
Green = Cedrick

Interpretation:
Yellow: Someone you will never forget.
Orange: Someone you consider your true friend.
Red: Someone that you really love.
White: Your twin soul.
Green: Someone that you will remember for the rest of your life.

AW! I've to apologise if you're not mention here because the colours mentioned don't really suit you you-see? Haha. Pai Seh. Pai Seh.

Enchanted Life Fifteen 20 October '06 Friday

Dumb Me. I went back sdchool because there's choir practice today. I was pretty excited but was feeling equally nervous too. I can't explain the reason for feeling this way BUT something usual happened today. I almost fainted in choir room. Haha! Luckily, i didn't and all thanks to the chair behind me.

We were having sectional training with Ms Fu while i suddenly feel strange. I know when i feel this way, i'm going to go... BLACKOUT very soon. I was standing beside the bench so i walked very slowly with no one noticing to the bench, resting my body against the bench. I thought by doing so, that strange feeling will go away BUT it gone worst and my vision blurred and i see the whole choir room swirling. I hardly breathe.

Fortunately, there was a chair behind me and i sat on it. Then, my head turned heavy and i can't help but to put my head down on the bench. Slowly, i could feel myself sweating a lot. My whole body turns wet very soon and ms lye came to find out what went wrong with me. I could hear what she said but i'm fel so weak all over i really can't move an inch. She said, "haiyo, she's sweating all over" yeah and i could see her feeling my hands. Haha. yeah my arms were sweating too.

Then, i heard her calling me and i summon all the strength i had and lifted my head, blink twice before both of my eyes can open. I said i was giddy and that it just happend so suddenly. Actually i'm very certain about my own condition. This "giddiness" will come and go once every year. Sometimes, if i'm too sway, it will happen two times a year but mostly once a year, normally during our NAFA test that period and the school marathon thingy.

Yes. This year, i pass my 2.4km run just by running once. I was so surprised you-know? Every year i have to re-run in order to pass because of the "giddiness". I thought i've recovered and maybe that "giddiness" had chose to leave me for the rest of my life BUT i never know it had never leave. Seems like it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life, fainting once a year.

I remembered "giddiness" came to me when i was young, around 7 years old? It was when i went to pula ubin with my father and fainted down there while they were "cleaning" or "tidying" the grave of my great grand-father. My vision turned blue and blur but i'm still able to walk without knowing the direction. Luckily, i managed to find my father before fainting in front of him. He carried me all the way out of the forest, asking for some unknown van to stop, then we went to the jetty and boarded the boat. I was calling out for mummy even when i'm unconscious. I know what i was doing then, kicking and crying but i can't STOP myself from doing all these.

Since then, every year i would "faint" at least once every year. Stupid right? doubt there's cure for this. So far so good la. If i were to list them down. I fainted while singing national anthem when i was in primary 5. i feel the giddiness while walking with egg to tampines mall when i was in sec. 1 and my aunty had to called for help from my cousin and they carry my weak body back home. They wanted to bring me to a doctor but i know my own condition and i said NO. They lied to me and i knew it so i just run back home without knowing where i was going, using only my own instinct? haha. Yeah i succeed! How amazing right?

Anyway, this is why i'm unable to complete some long marathon and 2.4 km run every year. that dumb "giddiness"! The whole body will turn super cold due to the cold sweat and if you try walking, you wil simply just BOOM! collapse. I was glad lah, at least i can see my choir friends showing concerns to me. Haha. Ms Lye even smiled very very super sweetly when i told her i was feeling better. HAHAAHA!!! consider myself to be very lucky today. =)

Enchanted Life Fourteen 19 October '06 Thursday

I hope wayne's online now... Haha. Urgent!! *pray hard* she's online. Signing in msn...

She's not online. =(

Enchanted Life Thirteen 19 October '06 Thursday

Compromise. Guess sometimes people just have to give in to each other. Today, i went to a small small meeting with wei yin and benny. I was quite frustrated with Benny. He doesn't seems to be listening and i hate it to see him not concentrating when we were talking about something that concerns (to me) LIFE AND DEATH.

There are disagreements whereby i don't agree with wei yin and she doesn't agrees with me BUT know what? There's no conflicts, just purely disagreements lah. Many thought we're not in good terms just because our views are different. I agree that to some extent i don't really accept her way of doing things BUT it's normal. No one is perfect and everyone has flaws. Like me, i've my own flaws too. I'm quite stubborn at times and i'm crazy when i'm not suppose to? Haha! anyway, comfirm plus guarantee THERE will be disagreements and you can't avoid that de lor. Thus, compromising is essential.

Guess this is why we didn't quarrel over certain matters. Hmm, we did touch on some very sensitive topics and i don't really feel comfortable because i really can't communicate with the in-charge. Hopefully, i won't have to take charge of that group. If can, let benny take charge of that. I'll have problem taking charge of that group but well, if there's no choice i guess i'll just have to simply DO IT. Compromise is needed. Hopefully, heaven's on my side and just change person to take charge of that group instead of me lor or exchange group! =) Best solution ever!

Okay enough! Look on the bright side of Life. I'm sure wei yin will think of the best solution, so i'll just stay put and wait.

My relationship with my friends, as usual, quite good though i somehow sense some "lost" or what between Camilia and i. Haha. Don't know why leh... Though we still speak to each other and we still do things together but i feel weird and i can't explain the reason. Maybe i think too much. Hopefully, it is. =) I hugged Anna and Si Jie today. We don't normally hug each other so i was quite surprised when i was offered a hug. I gladly accept it of course! =) Gay! Nono.. Lesbian! HAHAHA!!

Okay, i shall end here. Bye!

Enchanted Life Twelve 17 October '06 Tuesday

How fast! It's Tuesay! I almost cry this early morning. Maybe i did! I had a small quarrel with my mummy and i was really very upset about it. I though i won't mind it but i guess i was just pretending to be alright and i finally BAO when i received my E.Maths paper. Just one small mini mini tear... *sigh* and i felt restless for the rest of the day.

I feel super pressurized these few days and couldn't sleep for the past few days. I tossed and turned and flipped and rolled and curled my body when i was lyng on bed but all these can't help me to SLEEP. I seem to be harrassed by my own mind. It's playing with me all sorts of games and i'm so damn exhausted now BUT i just can't fall asleep! Even when i finally do, it's morning! Time to go school! Dying now.

Hmm, shall not mention about my results since it's super bad. Hah! And, i was quite lost now on what to do. I feel myself neglecting my friends... seem to be losing them... Oh Fen Bian! Okay calm down Y2... you're scaring yourself... =) smile! you've promised to live happily and cheerfully!

Enchanted Life Eleven 15 October '06 Sunday

BTW, I'm very troubled by the things that are going to happen tomorrow. It's time to get back our results! I'm VERY CERTAIN i'm going to do very badly because i've never put in my whole heart and effort into the exams. Blame myself. I can only say SORRY TO THOSE WHO EXPECT ME TO GET THOSE SUPER GOOD GRADES? Haha. Just hope i'm able to pass every single subject. For A. Maths, I just hope i don't fail too badly because 100% plus guarantee i've flunked it.

Y2, WORK HARD FROM NOW ON!!!

I know it's going to be very disappointing tomorrow and i'm going to be SUPER DUPER depress BUT PLEASE REMIND ME THAT LIFE STILL HAS TO GO ON. If possible, sing to cheer me up. haha! No matter how horrible or out-of-tune it's going to be... JUST SING for the sake of cheering me and i'll be depress-free! Whatever you call it. haha. Sayonara! I'm going to be a ting hua de hai zi from now on and i'm setting rules for myself to be obedient kid. I'll GROW UP one day and become someone whom i love and respect. How nice it's going to be that you're able to be proud of yourself and respect and love yourself! Aww... looking forward to it.

Enchanted Life Ten 15 October '06 Sunday

好難過 (hao nan guo).心中有許多的不愉快 (xin zhong you xu duo de bu yu kuai)... 但是我不動要如何說起 (dan shi wo bu dong de yao ru he shuo qi)...and i don't know how to put them into words.好累 (hao lei). i'm tired of living in this world.I can't bear the reality of this world. 好難呼吸 (hao nan hu xi). I've been feeling empty inside and at the same time, stuffy inside. There seems to be a sense of emptiness tinglingin my heart yet i could feel lots of troubles and undescribeable feelings and problems curling around it.

I have a thought in mind. 我想長大 (wo xiang zhang da). I want to grow up to the age i'm able to do things without anyone's acknowledgement. I want to make decision myself. i don't wish to be controlled any longer. Currently, i feel like half a puppet. I don't wish to live in a life that doesn't belong to myself. I wish to persue my dreams. I no longer have the patience to wait. Growing up seems to be a long and tedious process. I'm a bit sick of it now. Just hope time can ZOOM and then i'll reach 21? when i've completed my studies and that i'm able to FLY away to another country to realise my MENG XIANG.

I've been thinking a lot lately. Dreaming alot. thinking alot. wanting alot. I don't want to be asked or being questioned by parents, friends or anyone. I wish to have a life of my own. I got the idea of isolating myself from the world. I just want to live with HIM. He's someone whom i love. He's someone who doesn't know my existence. i wanted him to be someone who support my MENG XIANG. I want him to be someone that i can support his MENG XIANG. I want him to be someone someone i can spend my life with happily while we fulfil our own dreams. It will be better if we can be on the same career path which is POSSIBLE it just matters if i'm able to succeed not. He's already on the right track while i'm still finding my way to that TRACK. Hope i can meet him on the way though he might already be a thousand or millions miles ahead of me. I need to run and it will take at least 6 more years for me to catch up to him. *sigh* Alamak. Don't know who's he leh? WRONG! Not JJ lah, definitely. Haha.

I'm dying, not knowing the reason.Perhaps, it was the sense of emptiness that's stranggling me. Perhaps, it was knowing him that's stranggling me. Perhaps... I'm glad to know him though he has been depressing my life. The mere thought of GROWING UP and having a life of my own really brings hope to my life. I know change is needed to chase unhappiness away. I know change is needed to bring happiness.

However, will i be able to make the CHANGES? Thinking through alot makes me realise how hard it's going to be to make the change. Sometimes i really hope to lead a normal and ordinary life. Yes. I might seems to be living a normal and ordinary life but it's not true. I have a great ambition. I want a extraordinary life. I wouldn't want a life that is so ordinary, i died regretting not doing some great things that will leave a history behind. An extraordinary life to me means being something i've always wanted myself to be...

It was to become a singer. (well everyone knows that.) However, i do find acting a new and fresh career that i wanted to persue. I don't want to be singapore idol anymore. Being one will only pull me down and it's not going to bring me higher. I'm thinking very far now. I'm greedy. i want more things.

I'm going to work hard and break away from the miserable life that i've been living. I'm going Korea in the future to fulfil my latest dream. I wanted to be an actress. My first step would be learning Korean. Korea would be a place where people who wanted to act are able to develop this talent of theirs. I'm going to make big plans. First, i'm going to study and work hard to complete my life as a student. In the meantime, I'm going to take up courses to upgrade myself and to prepare myself for my future career. Courses like Korean Lesson, Singing lesson, acting class, piano lessons, etc. Of course, i have to take up jobs in order to take those lessons which are going to cost a lot of money.

I don't want any regrets. Since i wasn't given the chance to expose myself to the different talents that i have when i was young, I shall be independent and feed myself with all these lessons using both of my hands. When i complete my studies, i shall then fly to korea and persue greater things. I shall make the changes that i want BY myself. Ying Ying! You can do it! Believe in yourself that you can and that YOU MUST! You will find your own happiness BY YOURSELF!

Building up my own character and personal relationships with family are essential too but i'm lost. i don't know how to. I wanted a happy family in which i can share my unhappiness and sorrow with but at the same time they respect me and give me their fullest support. However, i don't find those there. My family has been a real disappointment. I'm beginning to hate it. I don't want to but i can't help it. Change is needed too, right? But i'm lost. I'll try loving them again. i shall start all over again from the beginning to understand them. Doing basic housechores will help in improving on that i-guess. However, i fear missing them when it's time for me to leave the HOME SWEET HOME. That day will come and i'm given 6 years to prepare myself for that. COURAGE, YING YING! YOU NEED COURAGE! fine. i shall take my steps slowly and steadily.

Another matter, my friends. If i ever were to do all these, most likely i'm going to neglect them. I don't want to. Who would want that to happen? Help me, people. I've so many things unattended. I wish i'm able to juggle between all these. BUCK UP YING YING! Let nature takes it's course.Treat your friends with your heart and i'm sure lesser time with them won't do any harm as long as you treat them with your heart. Hopefully, they will understand. Anyway, there will be time we can do things together which will still benefit me (in persuing my dreams). Things like taking up the same jobs and studying together! Yes. not totally enlightened though but i need to learn to enjoy all these and adapt to it.

Oh ya! actually secretly, i thought i was loving some -ehem ehem- but i'm not sure with that. *blush* HAHAHAHA!! It's confusing and it's not what i've seen on movie, korean drama or from my friends' relationship. It's not as direct as what i've seen lor. I wonder whether it's infatuation, crrush or love. Someone told me there are differences and i wonder what are the differences because it's so abstract i doubt even that someone is able to answer that. Anyway, i'm just going to remain feeling that way and not going to thinkof furthur like getting involve in BGR.

i feel that it's not the time. And that since i'm no sure of what i'm feeling now, i shall not think about it until when i'm certain about this feeling. OH YA! there are complications and if i ever told you before about the someone i love, there's a possiblity i'm confused about that feeling and that the feeling has now fall between 2 people and i'm unable to sort things out and confirm my emotions. So, well, don't make any guesses who are the 2 people. This is because i'm falling into some confusions again not knowing who i love exactly. Anyway, like what i've told my mummy and that she's suspecting... I'm not going to be involved in some BGR until when I'm old enough which would be at the age of 21. I mean it. So, mummy, don't worry. Haha!

I'm isolating my inner self, revealing only my..., perhaps, 'daily' character to others. So, after today, i shall not post about those confusing stuff. Maybe i would (a little) but not that often and most likely, on another blog of mine... mysterious yeah? haha. i don't know how to explain for doing so. Uncertainty.

P.S. It seems that my life and thoughts have been badly affectedby the Korean Drama. *sigh* i don't know how to explain it...

Enchanted Life Nine 14 October '06 Saturday

I'm... speechless for the moment. After so many days, i still can't get rid of that funny feeling that has been lingering around my heart, squeezing it, making me unable to breathe. It's how incredible i'm feeling this way. My first time, i'm feeling so blue, so depress, so gloomy but at the same time i'm still able to control my sadness and live on. I-think very soon, i will lost control of it and fall deeper into the trap.

Amazing this Korean Drama has left such a deep impact on me. I guess this feeling is similar to the feeling of being out-of-love. Though i've never experience that but i do feel this way. This Korean Drama inspired me alot and make me realise something important. It concealed my heart, preventing memories and my past from entering, and revealed another emotional side of me, creating new memories and past of me. Haha. I feel myself totally a different person after watching the Korean Drama.

I feel fresh with sadness. I'm starting to feel weak too. It close up my heart but also open up the deepest part of my heart - the core. I had this feeling that it's going to fade away very slowly but i don't want it to. I want it to remain this way. I don't know what i'm saying...

I'm happy that i feel sad... haha. this is weird. I'm happy that my heart can never open up to another person. Haha. This is a Korean Drama, not a human and it's how special this Korean Drama and replace a human and was glued to the core of my heart. The story is beautiful. I fits what i desire in life. Though it can never be realised and it's never true, but just like what Disney's creation had given me, this story gives me hope.

I wanted to make it true. I wanted to experience this, to feel for this story, to be into this story and remain in that imaginary world. When the character smile, the inside of me seems to be hitted by a slight sweetness, i smiled to. When the character sobbed, i can't bear but to sob, and i won't be able to stop but looking forward to happy scenes. When the character cried hysterically, i can't help but to let tears flow down my cheeks, feeling the warmth flow of tears dripping down to my chins, wetting my shirt. i wouldn't want to wipe it with tissue, i don't know why, i rather use my fingers to do the job. When the character was stress and wouldnt be able to eat, i frowned and feel no appetide for the rest of the day, i even got the urge to vomit when i tried stuffing food down my oesophagus.

Be it whether the roles of the characters are bad or good, I just feel what they feel. I turn bad. I turn good. I'm controlled by th Korean Drama. Haha. It's bad lah i-know but the feeling is amazing, knowing that my soul can actually be controlled or ruled by a Korean Drama. It's not betrayal or whatever you're thinking. I'm somewhat willing to be controlled and i'm happy to be controlled. Haha. Now, what am i talking about? Not sure.

May sound idiotic, ironic or even childish BUT that's what i'm experiencing now lah, being overcome by something that's not living. The story is incredibly beautiful, fitting my ideology, beliefs and my principle. Maybe that's the reason i'm so easily touched and influenced by the beautiful 'legend' and i 'surrender' to it lo. This is absurd. Haha. To you, maybe. I smiled being like this. I loved being this way. I'm a changed person. Change.

Now that the Korean Drama has ended, i'm down. i wanted the beautiful story to continue, lighting up my life and bringing happiness to my day. I had a hard time trying to focus on what i'm suppose to do. The happenings in the story of the Korean Drama just keep flashing across my mind, stirring lots of emotions and memories within my heart. I'm struggling to focus. I'm struggling real hard to get rid of the unhappiness in my heart. I've finally found a way.

Since there's nothing left, i shall continue to story. I'll do it. A story that only myself will be able to read. No one is going to comment on it.

I'm enlightened. I'm inspired. I'm going to write not for the world but for myself. i'm going to save myself from unhappiness and this is what everyone should do to stay happy. You fight for your own happiness. You can't live yourself in depresion for the rest of your life, not doing anything to save yourself. If you do that, you can blame no one but yourself.

Not only being a writer, I'm given the courage and confidence to work hard to persue my dreams and goals in life. I'm going to be someone i life myself to be. I know it's going to be tedious but at least you walk on, not standing on the same position, doing nothing to make the change. There will be a result, and i want to achieve a result that i'm satisfied with, leaving no regrets in my life.

The Korean Drama makes me feel that LIFE CAN BE ENCHANTED. understand? haha. you're the only person that can cast this spell, to put a curse on your own life. whether it's a bad one or a good one, it all depends on you.

This entry is so damn lousier than what i've written 2 days ago lah but well, blame blogger.com for doing their stupid maintainence job while i was publishing that. Boo! Lousy! Hate it! Anyway, i feel like a grown-up now. Whheee!!! Haha!!! Zhang Da Le!

Oh ya! And it's how strange i don't feel like flirting anymore. I mean, hmm, i used to think i'm a flirt but now, i don't because i simply don't stare at any mei nv or shuai ge anymore. Haha! So, I'm not going to be a homo or bi-sexual (like what i was telling cedrick). Becoming more of a laidback who stays at home all day, lazing and slacking. However, i do change my criteria for ONE thing in life after watching the show. not study. not choir. not family. not friends. I'm so qian bian now. *BOX MYSELF* *SLAP MYSELF* haha!

Enchanted Life Eight 12 October '06 Thursday

It's been quite some days since i last blogged. I was super busy with all the plannings, reflecting, proposals, idea-ZooMing, deep-general thinking and was involved in lots of entertainment programme. Hehe! All these were organised by me and i was pretty satisfied with myself for being able to complete the activities organised by myself. I usually don't because i've always been squeezing myself in super tight schedule and thus was unable to fulfill them. Now, I feel great BUT at the same time, i'm experiencing a very weird feeling deep in my heart.

I've always thought there's no such a thing as thinking with your heart or feel with your heart. This is because using scientific theory, there's no way we can think or feel with your heart. Your brain did all the job. And, i find it perfectly true. In fact, we uses HEART to describe or contain emotion. However, brain is still the EMOTIONAL organ. we merely uses Heart to make emotions more convincing. Hopefully, i'm right. I-guess, I AM RIGHT!

I'm experiencing those pains now. I can feel those pains in my heart. It's true. My heart feels crampled. Must be the Korean Drama I've watched recently that has cause such a commotion in my Heart. After watching that Korean Drama, gong (in chinese); princess hour (in english); goong (in korean), I'm enlightened. I've forgiven her. She's not that bad anyway. People should always remember the good things someone had done FOR you not the bad things that someone had done TO you.

In other words, Learn to count your blessings! I feel very fortunate now. In the past, I've always feel that way but i don't know what's happening to me this year that i've totally forgotten about counting blessings. Perhaps, I've grow greedier and wanted more after gaining so much. When you gain something, you lose something. it just matter if you're willing to let go a not. Haha! I'm so blessed. =) *smiling* *frowning*

Why frown? I've learn to let go of certain matters which had been bothering me BUT i can't let go this Korean Drama that has pulled me together again. It has given me loads of happiness and has helped me and i want it to continue... I'm being greedy here BUT hello? This this time! haha. I just want to be greedy this time, i want this GREED definitely! It belonged to me now. I don't care. I WANT the korean drama!

I don't know how am i going to WANT it because it will never going to happen in reality but i just want it. I got faith in it. I got confident in it. I want it to happen! I WANT! haha. MThis is too greedy i guess, making something impossible possible. It's going to be a hard journey fulfilling it and i've thought of a way to achieve, to make it HAPPEN, to fulfil my WANT! yeah!

Today's entry is going to be ENCHANTING! I love it!

My heart seems..

i'll update on this 8 pm after the Korean Drama. Wait for me! Hmm, Damn Blogspot.com... Yesterday i wastyping a whole big chunk BUT when i tried to publish... it was under maintainence and what i've typed FOR LIKE 1-2 hours just GONE in a second time?? Damn it lah! Anyway, i'll just hope i can re-type the whole thing in a more EXPRESSIVE way?? Whatever it is better than the one i've previously typed and unable to publish...

Not today lah because i've to edit the plan that i've come up (got some minor problems) then i have to rush to TECC once the clock strike 8 o'clock. Hehe. I need to watch Princess hour even though i've already finish watching it. It's just so damn beautiful lah. I will never allow myself to miss this Korean Drama. Never! Okay updating tomorrow. Now, i'm super tired BUT i still need to edit stupid plan. *sigh a hundred times* Bye!

Enchanted Life Seven 9 October '06 Saturday

Hmm, never expect my Little Game would cost so much commotions. Haha. Well, I only wanted everyone in the class to know more about each other... Is that wrong? I'm not going to criticise anyone here and i'm TRYING VERY HARD NOT GOING TO CITICISE SOMEONE AND AT THE END STARTED APPLE-LICKING THAT PERSON JUST TO HOPE THAT SHE WON'T FEEL OFFENDED. (can you see i'm very pissed off now? Haha. *cooling down*)

Oh Fen Bian! I'm crying now lah... Hope she feels guilty about hurting my feelings. Ya.. Because i don't feel that what i've did is appreciated. Oh Ya! Thanks cedrick for that man! Thanks for the support. That urge me to cry more. Haha. She's really good at making people cry. I'm just another victim of hers. Hmm, i don't consider this as a sway day but i consider this as someone who sabotage my day.

Yes. I'm petty. Very petty. I hope none of my friends will ever back-stab me this way because i'm not going to be able to take such ATTACKS. I'm weak so don't agitate a weakling like me, okay? I got low blood pressure de or maybe high blood pressure de leh. Haha. Of course, you can tell me straight in the face if you find faults in me BUT please in a super kind manner not those rough-and-tough manner lah (because most likely it's going to be very tough for me to accept that advice of yours. Oh ya! No sarcasm too!). Anyway, i don't consider that someone to be a friend but just classmate. Hopefully, everything will end fast and soon and MOST IMPORTANTLY.. PLEASANTLY. *pray hard*

My English, as usual, is not very good from the first day you know me. So well, you don't have to start a big essays talking (in fact, citicising.) about the little game i introduced to the class blog. Sometimes i wonder if it would be better NOT knowing you in the first place. You have helped me and i really appreciate those helping hands you've lent me. You have made me hopping mad and almost wanting to cry (not because i think that i'm wrong) because i just find no ways i can do to CHANGE you or to show that you're wrong.

I've been very understanding and forgiving. I've been very tolerant to your actions and now I've ENOUGH OF YOU. There's no use fighting or quarreling over such matters because you'll be thinking of ways and means and your chim vocabulary to CORRECT your mistakes but this entry is just to let you know how i feel about you and to give advices to you AND i HOPE you can heed my advice. of course, it's your choice and eveyrthing is up to you (whether or not you want to change for the better.)

As a friend, i really need to tell you the truth now that you need a change. If not, i guess you will have a hard time in the future because many won't be able to accept you as a FRIEND. Because you can quarrel and your debating can win a teacher... Because you have been having your way in everything... Because people have been tolerating... Because you have been winning those silly quarrelings with your friends... Because you have the ability to express yourself in those powerful english... Because you have been given chance which many don't (debating for organisations).... Because you're able to get your ways and WIN... That makes you think that everything you're doing is right!

Bullseye! I got you! From the beginning till today, you've been having this belief and ideology that everything you do is right and even if it's wrong you're able to change the fact with your powerful English into misleading people that it's right. Most of them know you're wrong but there's nothing they can do to WIN so they simply shut up and let you walk into your own grave. Maybe the day when you die (which is a choy!) you might not even know the mistakes and the problems that lie in you that have made so many people DAMN PISSED OFF.

Many times i thought about this, "Her parents must be some supermen!". Hmm, you might be right in some ways about my broken english but well, just to let you know that you've offended me. Your sacasm Your hypocritism. Your Arrogance. Your . they are the one that are obstructing your ways and you have to kick them off ONE-BY-ONE. Kick those habits (they have become some roadblocks that obstruct your road to success.) away!

Hmm, and another thing is that you might be wondering or even start thinking "well i do have friends now."! Haha but do you know that 99.99% of your friends criticises you behind your back? Sometimes when i can't stand the situation, i did that too. Sometimes i find you very friendly and nice but sometimes, you behave, act and talk in those arrogant manners that NONE of your friends can stand you. A piece of advice to you... YOU NEED TO CHANGE. Perhaps you refused or even insist yourself being right but ask yourself one thing, just one thing: are you always RIGHT?.

You debate, rebut and use those super chim words to show and convince others that you're right BUT one thing in mind: are you always right?

No one is perfect. Me too. I'm not perfect. However, it doesn't give you any excuse to remain like this. You seriously need to change. Beware of your action because every action has it's consequences and i assure you if you don't change, one day you will suffer.

Anyone agrees? Oh Ya By The Way I won't be mentioning that person's name but she will know it herself. x) Hopefully, it's enlightening.

Explanations for my post in the class blog:

"Mei Jun [Mei Jin's Chinese name]

A quiet individual who can get good results even if she don't study. (haha!!) Her favourite action is *rubbing her fingers when she's nervous*. And, keep it up AhMui! [like what cedrick has said it's mei jin's nick] You're speaking harder (not softer but harder! Lame.) as time goes by. Good Job! I want to see you blogging here, Ah Mui."

People who knows nothing just doesn't have the excuse or rights to make any silly assumptions. She, herself, is lack of knowledge and is trying to act pro. (to me lah). She should be ashame of herself. Bleh! Not that pissed of now because i've stop cursing her in my heart. As what i've taught the class, " As a principle of law states: "Ignorance of the Law does not make one exempt from compliance thereof.". Hmm, going off now. Pleased with my entry. (fake + sarcastic)

Just to let anybody especially the mentioned one in my blog that i allow broken english in my blog. Bleh! I need a boxing sack very badly. Haha And a big bottle of water to keep me grumbling and whining and boxing the sack to vent my frustrations. It's how incredible the impact her words have on me and this will keep me from forgetting her BUT this is not a good way to let ones remember her. Bad way... She's using the wrong way. Definitely!! Don't like this. *Sigh 100 times*

Enchanted Life Six 8 October '06 Sunday

Yap! I just came back from Bugis. Haha! I've recognise that place, and i'm quite familiar with that place man. Haha. Next time when people ask me where the hell is Bugis, i know what to tell them. Haha! Of course if i didn't go there for like half a year, things would be different because i would have forgotten that Bugis is actually called bugis. That's how bad my memory is, currently. Hopefully, things will be better because this makes me feel like an idiot. Example, When people ask where the hell in Plaza singapura? I was like huh? what is plaze singapura? I only recognise that place if i see that place lah. I'm always thought by lots of people that even though i'm a singaporean but i don't really know lots of places in singapore. Actually, i do bah just that i suffer from short term memory so i don't know what the hell they're talking about. Understand? hope you do.

Back at home. I was like... DO YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING HOME? I DON'T WANT TO SEE MY MUMMY. Anyway, i don't want to talk about this incident anymore. And, well, no one is at HOME!!! Hahaha. I received 2 forwarded mails from Liting... one of them is really interesting... It goes like this:

Girls, what do you say ? ******************************************** Men Are Hard To Please The problems with GUYS:

1. If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
2. If u Don't, he says u are PROUD. If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
3. If u Don't , he says u are from VILLAGE.
4. If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN ;
5. If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS .
6. If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
7. If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT .
8. If u don't L ove him, he tries to POSSESS u;
9. If u Love him! , he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
10. If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;
11. If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
12. If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
13. If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.
14. If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
15. If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
16. If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
17. If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
18. If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
19. If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.
20. If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
21. If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
22. If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
23. If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!

& sooo hard to please!!!!!
If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's true.......but if u don't, they say u are selfish...........................
The moral of the story is....... SEND THIS TO GIRLS OUT THERE ANYWAY... Send it to GUYS also, gives them some laughter

Haha. Cool huh? But i don't think it's fair lah. I mean some guys i met they are not like that. Hmm, MOST GUYS i met they're not like that. Maybe, it only happens to BOYFRIEND. Ah har! Got it? This won't be happening to Male friends lah. Girls are hard to please too okay? Maybe, i should write one about girls...

Okay i tried but i failed. Haha. It's so hard can?

So, i'll just talked about what happened just now when shaz and i were at the Mos Burgar. It was my second time stepping into the Mos Burgar. It was the same old Mos Burgar look and the same old Mos Burgar that i've stepped into the previous time. We sat at the same table and i sat on a same seat. Bahaha!!! Cool huh? We started our revision after buying drinks!!! Haha it was nice. I bought a Ice Tea (milk) which was cool and i can't open up the packets of milk. Anyway, it had a special way of opening so shaz demo and i learn lor. Haha. Pretty cool sia.

It was really tasty but you get thirsty very soon most likely because of the milk. Hmm, started revision but not long after Mr. Low arrived and we started bombarding him with questions (not really that much but just to exergerate things a little). Chou Camilia never come. I bought Kinda Breuno so that the three of us can eat while mugging mah and she never come. Okay lor OBI quack she doesn't get to eat the chocolate. Haha! I bought value pack so it's like 3 bucks for 3 packets!! Oooo!!! How Great!

Beore Mr. Low reach right. I was like chatting with shaz. We are very easily distracted.. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Talked about dreams, sleep, grandma, mummy, toilets, habits, ALL KIND OF LAME STUFF. HOWEVER, it was so damn funny lah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Then, i applied cream on my nose (because of the mosquitoes bite), facing the mirror on my left. haha mos burgar has got a big piece of mirror on their pillars. Anyway, then did Mr. Low came in lor and then.... revision began.....

Anyway, i was very frustrated with Light and i hope i can just live in darkness even though it's going to be torturing. Haha. Shazlin had a hard time explaining to me and i still don't get it. When Mr. Low came, i was glad but soon the results turn out to be the same. Both of them buay tahan me. However, i manage to get the picture of Light lah after his explanations even though i can see he was squeezing his brain juice to find ways to explain Light to me. I was trying to focus too because i wasn't really concentrating with Mummy all over in my brain. *sigh* Mummy! You are so.... Haiz... You've disappoint me. You want me to turn into a rebellious kid? You wish to see that? Very well then! Keep provoking me. Keep invading my stuff and i'll rebel against you.

I mean i don't wish that will happen and i really really do but please lor if you're worried about me, if you're thinking so negatively that i'm going to be involved in stupid BGR (like what shaz had said). I can rest assure you that NO SUCH THINGS WILL HAPPEN! You don't have to look through my contact list and check my friend's no. you don't have to question me in such a way that i find it very offending. MOST IMPORTANTLY, you can just ask me and tell me your worries. I can explain. You can't just do whatever you have did. I think it's wrong of you but i don't wish to tell you that because there will be futhur disagreements.

I hope you understand and think about it. You're wrong this time. I'm not happy. I'm very disappointed. I don't see that you believe in me. I don't see myself gaining any trust from you. I've lost confidence in you. And you made me feel like a failure. MY OWN MOTHER DON'T TRUST ME AT ALL? I mean pplease give me some respect and my own privacy. I'm a grown-up already! I'm not a kid anymore. I've been trying my best already.

I restrain myself from going out during exam period. I go out just to study. She said why can't you study at home? I wish i could! I really wish! I used to cried infront of her, screaming and telling her and cousins beside her that please stop bothering me. you guys are making lots of noise and i can't study at home. They just keep bothering me asking me to help them with this and that. Hello? They know that i've exams coming and they are like doing this?!?! Can't they be more considerate over my feelings? I told them they have to stop and kept reminding them i have exams coming but it didn't really work much. Thus, i cried infront of them to show my frustration and to let them know they have to stop. Yah it works.

And, being the eldest amongst my siblings, you think i can seek help if i have any questions regarding my studies? OF COURSE NO! She doesn't understand this point even though i've been like telling her until i'm really sick of it. My patience has it's limit.

I tried all my best that i could to let her know i'm really studying outside. I called her after i finish my revision outside. I do whatever i could to please her but please show me some respect. I hope she won't interupt my revision. I need some peace. I need respect and i need my own privacy! I do let people to touch my things and all that but when their purpose of doing so is like to check on my friends and NOT just for fun, I feel REALLY REALLY OFFENDED. She even saved my sister's friends number on her cellphone without my sister's consent. That's not right. My sister and i were really pissed off sometimes but there's nothing much we can do. ARGH!

bursting soon. actually, i burst today. My ran out of the house when she actually look through my contact list and wanted to save shaz's and uncle low's no. i was very angry with her. I walk out of the house and headed straight to Bugis to meet shaz. I even demanded for an explanation, asking her the reason for doing that (looking through my contact list) and she's like i want your friends' no.? i ask her why? and she said because i can call them if i can't contact you. I mean sorry lor NO WAY! You can just call me. I GOT CELLPHONE too what. Even though it's always on silent mode because i don't want anyone to interupt my revision. BUT REMEMBER I DID CALL HER AFTER REVISION! Har! FED UP LAH.

I didn't gave her the numbers that she wanted and on the way to Bugis, i start changing everybody's name into something else so that she will have a hard time if she wanted shaz's and uncle low's no. THE PROBLEM IS HER LOR. i mean she can't just have her own way can? people have their own privacy and of course should i give my friends' number to her? sorry can't right? i need their permission for doing so de lor. SHE DOESN't know the importance of respect? then so sorry, she will have a hard time gaining any respect from me lor. She's like forcing me to rebel indirectly. Don't like that.

I'm really very upset over it you-know? i almost cried durng my journey there to bugis. That feeling of not earning any trust especially YOUR OWN MUMMY is so damn disappointing lah. I'm such a failure lor. She, herself, knows that its wrong too lor. She bet she's guilty over it too BUT she thinks she's right. SORRY SHE's definitely wrong this time. Don't try to speak up for her people. She's using the wrong method to check on me and i tell you, that only makes me a rebellious kid.

ANGRY. I was whining to my jie jie over my mummy and when i see shaz i was whining to her too. IT WAS REALLY SAD LEH. i was like talking to myself on my way to Bugis and screaming and grumbling so i bet lots of people see me as a lunatic. DUMB. MUMMY!!!!!!!! I don't want to hate you, and i know i shouldn't. SO, PLEASE STOP FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

Anyway back to funny things. Hmm, at mos burgar, when Mr. Low can't stand me because i just can't understand a single thing, he said that he was really wondering whether i was the second in level last year. HELLO?!?! LAST YEAR!!! THIS YEAR? NO WAY LOR! I'm a slacker this year. *sigh* and he said whether i was trying to act cute. yah! Simply act cute like this? bai tuo lor, this is not funny and this is not cute. I'm already very frustrated over this light topic lor where got time to act cute to light. YOU-TELL-ME? Haha!!! Then, shaz was like ya lor you know what she write on class blog not? HAHAHAHA and ya.. what i've did to show people how cute i am. meaning, my act cute skill... which was pretty bad sometimes.

During his teaching, shaz keep kicking me and i was like WHAT?!! HAHAHA she said Mr. Low was mumbling about being hungry? Then i orh and offer him kinda breuno (it was suppose to be camilia's de). Ben Camilia, she can't get to eat chocolate!!! Obi Quack! Never come lah! pang seh lah! The haze was like better today le lor still cannot come.

Hmm, then when 4 is reaching, we simply kick each other (shaz and me) because we owe Mr. Low a lunch and he's leaving at 4. She said Mr. Low talk about Teriyaki Chicken whatever de lah then i went to buy lor. It was stupid though because i was Q-ing then i was pretty shocked to see him waqlking towards me. I was like OH SHIT! What if he's going to buy his lunch? Haha in the end, i guess he knows what we're doing and he told me i wanted the chicken which we intended to buy it for him and i ask if he wanted any drinks and he said NO! Aw... never know he's such a kind soul HOR?!?!

But i bu hao yi si mah so i bought a Coffee shake lor. Haha!!! It was stupid when the tray was without a burgar but only a cup of coffee shake. HAHAHA! LAME. I think he acts blur when he saw the coffee shake lor because everyone knows clearly I HATE COFFEE so it's like 100% plus guarantee NOT MINE and he asked whether it's mine. hello? Haha. Anyway, hmm, i said it was his and he said he wanted to get that too and how i know? Glad that he wanted that and it's super easy to know lor because he just keep drinking coffee from the first day i've met him? Whatever la. Hmm, and the dumbest thing people who know me will do is to offer me coffee because i GLARE at them. haha. he did that ON PURPOSE.

Hmm, shazlin was having a painful day with all the sneezingS and blowingS of her nose and i was like haha so ke lian. I hate sneezing and FLU-ing during my revision and especially during exams lah and she was like experiencing something i hate. She skip fasting today because she's sick and i can see she was glad to be able to EAT. HAHAHA. We ate kinda breuno and she ate burgar too.(camilia can't!! HAHAHAHA!!! Har!).

I stick with my Ice tea (milk) because i wasn't feeling hungry and of course, i don't really like burgar. You'll know if you've read my entry long ago at Msn Space. Haha. I simply can't take burgars maybe only MacDonald Burgars and KFC Burgars. I don't like Burgar King's Burgar because it taste awful (to Me) and i don't like MacDonald's Breakfast because the burgars they offer simply Ehem Ehem doesn't suit my taste and my tastebuds rejected them instantly. HAHAHA!!

Hmm, then we left at about 4 and as usual i did some cleaning up and SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENED!!!!! ALAMAK. I throw the basket into the bin. It was suppose to be given back to mos burgar and i threw it away. Like what Mr. Low said, "YUE BANG YUE MANG.". It happened like this...

We pack out stuff then i start cleaning up.

Shaz followed me towards the bin then i start clearing everything on the tray into the bin then the basket went into the bin. i don't know.

shaz was like OH NO! and she covered her mouth and walk away.

i didn't finish clearing so after i finished i walk out and i start asking what happened out of curiosity.

Then she kept telling me what basket basket and i was like what basket?

haha. Do you know that Macdonald and KFC doesn't put burgars on basket and it was normal for me to throw everything inside the bin without even thinking of not throwing the basket because i'm not getting used to the basket thing after visiting mos burgar for only 2 times in my life!

Then, after sometimes when i was recalling what stupid basket she was talking about i was so SHOCKED!! I wanted to go back eh but well, i didn't in the end. haha very bad hor? zhen de shi yue bang yue mang leh... DUMBEST THING I've ever DID. kaoz... stupid sia. OMG OMG OMG!!! I THREW THAT BASKET INTO THE BIN!!!! HELL~~~

haiya then we went back home lah and i was like talking to shazlin about so many things that have happened. basically we just whine about our problems with each other. HAHAHAHAAHAH!!! that's good. A very good way of improving ones friendship when you share problems. Hmm, stop saying i love you shazlin. I admit i do but it's not that LOVE lah. haha! I'm still not a lesbian can? I'm still in love with boys. Bahaha! I still look at shuai ge. Hmm, i'm still feeling very bad for throwing the basket into the bin. VERY SUPER SWAY TODAY LOR!!!! AnD I WAS KENA BITTEN BY A MOSQUITOE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY NOSE!!!! ARGH!!! SWAY ARH SO SWAY!!!

OOOOOOOOooooooooooooo super long entry. Doubt anyone will read till the end. Hahaha!!!

Enchanted Life Five 7 October '06 Saturday

Not in a good mood today. Having difficulty in breathing... Haha. Though not serious but i'm feeling very uncomfortable. Having a slight headache (most likely because of not having enough sleep). I know it's Saturday but you-guess-what? I automatically woke up this morning at 9.30 after sleeping at 1.30 the day before today. OMG! Horrible right? *sigh* This heaedache lasted from yesterday until. This morning it wasn't so bad de leh but when night came, it gone worst.

I wanted the sky to rain now! RAIN!!! I hope it will help? It's super serious now the haze. It's killing everyone's lung. If you're have heart disease and asthma, it's better if you stay at home and avoid outdoor activities. Never know it can get so damn serious. For the first time in my life, i'm experiencing this situation. Hmm, now it takes more effot to breath in, don't you find it too?

Very Sleepy Now. I just got back from a monastary. I am a free thinker but i went to a monastary. Haha. A free thinker still can visit monastary de mah. So, there's nothing weird about it. I have a GREAT time taking pictures of shuai geS who SMOKE. Haha. Lame. Actually, they are the beautiful lanterns of different sizes. Haha. They smoke right? Lame. It was beautiful when you see it personally lah. Photos are quite blur sometimes. Anyway, i think watch it once is enough. If there's a next year, i doubt i will want to go because it's going to be boring.

Well, my didi went there too and he was like bugging someone to bring him over to the kids' world. Haha. The monastary had a carnival i suppose and my mummy was given coupons. It was like a 'Basamalam' but you have to use coupons instead of money. The kids can play in mini inflated themepark (there! those bloated balloon like playground) and small-scale train rides and those jumpy frogs flying machine. There are no swinging ship however. Hahaha.

Anyway, My Didi chose the inflated playground and it cost four bucks. Bah! Haha i heard that it was 10 bucks at first and i was like stunned? Haha. Then he said, "si" not "shi". Aiya, my cockear haven't recover lah and i doubt it will. bahaha. He was jumping and screaming here and there like a monkey. Then he was soon bored of it and change his target to a inflated rhino.

He went into that inflated Rhino and start jumping here and there. There were those plastics balls of different sizes and he started throwing them out of the Rhino. The person-in-charge was like running here and there to pick up the balls and throw it back into the Rhino. If there's a chance, i'll show you guys the picture of the Rhino. Hmm, then another person-in-charge came to get some kids out of the Rhino and...., my Didi took a super big ball and throw the ball at his face lor. Wa kaoz... SWAY SIA!

Poor Thing. It was super painful and i heard an "ouch!" and he wore spectacles too so i think the injury was bad. I scolded my Didi but i guess he didn't hear me and demandedd for him to come out of that Rhino but he didn't give a damn about my demand. I shall spank him tomorrow once he wake up. Har! Actually, i wanted to apologise but i don't have the courage to. Haha. I shall apologise here but it's useless anyway. Hehe. SORRY!

He went to a side and i was like looking at him, feeling super guilty. Stupid dumb brother of mine. Then, he took off his specs and start rubbing his eyes? Haha!!! very embarassing lor. Then i was like observing him eversince that accident and i hope he doesn't know i'm my didi's sister. I guess he know lor because he kept looking at me too. sharks! Dumb didi.

Then, i saw him walking to a corner and started taking out CIGARETTE!!! Hello? Judging his look i doubt he's even 21!!! How can he smokes? He took out his lighter and lighted his cigarette. *sigh* Nowadays, teenager loves to damage their health with such useless junk that only cost money and destroy your life. only Ben Dan then smokes. I'm cong ming. har! i don't know he smoke one lor because he looks friendly and was playing and chatting with the kids who are playing in the inflated theme park. haha. He looks guai. Hmm, i guess he didn't mean to smoke de lah hor?

Well anyway he's just a stranger and i can only wish that he will quit smoking and that his eyes will be fine lah hor. Okay, super tired now.i shall go to bed now. Tomorrow would be a long day, again. haha. Everyone, take care of your health hor! Drink more water and eat more fruits. Sleep early and pick up good hygiene habits. That a piece of advice from my gor gor? Haha. Ya lah ya lah. Drink more papaya juice and milk. Eat more cheese and dream cheese tonight! It will help to fight sickness mentally and physically!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Lame.

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Okay, I have enough. It getting worse. I feeling worse. I going worse. I can't help but to sneeze and each time i sneeze even harder. The air is killing my lungs, nose and eyes. My nose feel like falling off now and the really hurts!! MUMMY!!! My throat is feeling very sore and dry too and i can feel the mucus flowing inside my throat. Hmm, Oesophagus to be exact. *sigh* Please someone help? I thought i once read about man-made rain on Strait times. Alamak but that's in china! I want rain in Singapore! Not in China! *sigh* What a sway day. i shall turn in now and wake up early tomorrow to start revising. Hmm. MUST!

*rubbing my nose every now and then* ITCHY ICTHY.

Enchanted Life Four 6 October '06 Friday

Due to yesterday's blurness, i've mad lots of grammar mistakes and funny sentence structure... so i'm editing today - Y2 (7 October '06 Saturday.)
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It's kind of weird when you talk to that person like at least once a week for quite a long time and when you suddenly didn't do that after some time due to some reasons. of course, it's normal that You'll feel that something is missing... *sigh* Well, not to worry because i guess everything will resume back to normal again in a month's time (plus a few days) and now i'm looking forward to it again. Even though it's THAT long but well guess there's nothing i can do about it. *smile* It had become a conditioned reflex action? whatever. i've forgotten about the term used. Anyway, i really need to whine now. *take a deep breath...................* START!

Went to granny's house just now instead of the usual Sunday. It seems like everyone in this world knows that I'm going to granny's house every Sunday. Especcially the YEC people... Hahaha!!! When they talked about having meeting on Sunday? I would say i can't make it? And they will say something like, "Yes. you have to go your granny' hse.."? Something like that i-supposed.Good what then they know that they cannot date me on Sunday. Bleh! Haha!! Okay, talking about YEC i feel very uncomfortable now because it's been quite some time since i attended the meeting and it's really kind of weird not doing so. Shit. Examinations are disrupting my life without me knowing... *sigh* *smile*

The reason i'm whining now is because of the trip to my granny's house to celebrate MID AUTUMN FESTIVAL. I know what will happen there at my granny's house! Everything can be predicted so easily and i can even foresee all the things we're going to talk about and do once we reach. It was so...... Predictable. I even started whining to camilia and shaz, sms-ing to them my whines. Bahaha!!! Camilia buay tahan my whinings i-know so i was already trying very hard to keep my mouth shut. it seems impossible though. I think i shall find another target to whine to. *sigh* Who will lor? No one! Haha. There used to be one though who is a kind soul that keeps quiet while i whine and give advice and comment when i finish whining. Not like some who interupt you while you whine. HAHAHA!!!

Hmm, oh yeah know why i whine to them? because i know something horrible, terrible and vegetable (HAHAHAHA!!!) will take place there at my granny's house. There will be lots of people there, eating, watch tv, talking and walking (haha! lame.). They are all my relatives and they will make lots of comments upon seeing me. They will either talk about my size (for example, "eh? your daughter has grown ROUNDER wor") or my studies (for example, "how's your daughter's study?" and most likely mummy is going to say something bad.) *sigh* Hate this. But do i have a choice to NOT go? Nope.

I do love GOING to granny's house but it's when we haven't reach and i'll be sitting at the back of baba's car and i'll remove my shoe and occupy the back seat, with my back leaning against the car door. It's the most enjoyable things to do because the FM is on and the air-conditioner is on too and you simply feel super duper comfy.i would look out of the glass window as the car pass by buildings, flats, grasslands, tampines mall, interchange, swimming complex, mosque, buildings again, flats again, and finally, we would reach my granny's house. Know where my granny stays? Haha. I think if you live near tampines area you should be able to picture it out lah...

I whine and whine about it but shaz never reply and i send my SMS to the wrong person. dumb me. But you can't blame Y2 because she's woken up by some idiot during her afternoon nap. She's like so damn exhausted and finally, she can sleep however, some ben dan don't know and call her during her sleep. Hao Ke Lian Orh!! I pity you man. *sob* HAHAHA!!! I think the ben dan won't read my entry so haha... i can name him ben dan and idiot without worrying he will kill me or ... -something horrible can happen?- . i don't know.

hmm, Camilia did reply and she say what act angelic to avoid the remarks my relatives are going to make. LIKE IT WILL HELP!?! hahaha. This camilia only know how to give lame suggestion but well, i do that too. HAHAHA!!! BUT how can my super tanned face be angelic?? And.. And.. *sigh* no one will think i'm angelic even if i act like one. i might end up looking like an idiot who make a fool out of herself infront of my relatives. Anyway, that someone who shouldn't be the receiver of the SMM pointed out my mistake in the SMS saying that "mooncake festival is actually mid autumn festival"... true lah but well, i was scolding him back FOR FUN. haha.

i needed to vent my frustration mah. need to bao. And, sway-sway he kena lor. Bahahaha!!!

Indeed true, when i reached granny's house, some said i've grow thinner and prettier? i was surprised and i looked at them with my curious eyes. Then, i slapped myself awake. i guess i could be dreaming. I was wondering whether could my ears be playing tricks on me? Hahaha. Not so bad after all, i wasn't commented being FAT or whatever. However, when my uncle saw me and my sister sitting together, he said,"one so big-sized and another one so super thing". i was like -speechless- and i smiled back at his comment. =.x" I'm determined to cut down my intake of food from now onwards. Har! My sister lahhow come so skinny de? HAHAHAHA!!! blame her blame her!!!

Hmm, anyway i was quite frustrated today too. Reason? i was super duper exhausted and so i took a nap after blogging this morning i-supposed? then from 2 i slept till 4.30 when suddenly one super KIND soul call me from nowhere. I picked up the phone and was like "hello?" (sleepy sound) then the next moment i was like "YA LAR!! I WAS SLEEPING LEH!!!" (i bao i-think) then i laughed and continue to conversation. Dumb me. why i laugh arh? Then when i hung up the phone, i couldn't sleep anymore and i started SMS camilia and shaz whining and telling them the details. Hahaha!! Waiting for shaz to reply and she didn't but camilia didn't! Whooo.... and it happened like what i've said... SMS the wrong person and all that.

I have been repeating the story, did i? Haha. OMG. This is crazy...

Duh! What a day! I'm completely a sotong now. zonking out... okay i've finished my whinings. Actually talking to someone is better then blogging down because it's faster. But well, since i can't whine to people, i have to turn to blogging instead. Hahaha!!! I know many are irritated by my whinings... In the past, Joel was irritated then soon cedrick was... then soon camilia... and NOW almost everyone knows i'm a whiner and they are annoyed. I only can say here... "私は残念である。 残念!" "Gomen nasai" Haha. Hopefully, it's correct arh. Anyway, other then Anna, no one will know lah. Bahaha.

*sigh a hundred times* nonono.. *sigh a millions times* HAHAHA!! it will take me a day to finish sighing. Diaoz...

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Okay, I've finish my editing. And just to announce something... I've decided to write a story. It will be about Vampire but i'm wondering should i write about the future vampire or the past ancient vampire. I don't want to write something that is very common. Nowadays people have been writing about future vampire stories. Example, the 2100 Vampire. Hell~ Haha. Maybe mine would be the AD 2 Vampire? Nah, I'm still thinking about it and will be blogging my story on a new blog. Now i shall do research on vampire and i'll be modifying some facts to make it more fun and interesting. Most importantly, i want it to be different - OUTSTANDING.

Enchanted Life Three 5 October '06 Friday

Okay this is driving me crazy. I'm back at home now infront of the copputer screen, blogging. My surrounding is well-suited for a nice comfortable sleep after long intensive studying for the last few days. However, i just couldn't. My head is spinning and i felt as if something was rocking inside my hollow head. My Head's Aching. Pain.

I came back home and straight i went to check my email inbox and to find an email from Quizilla. i went to that site and start reading people's stories. Duh! Never know it's so fundamental. Haha But well only to some. I come into this page whereby it's totally corrupted. Haha. This is our modern society, with the latest technology - internet, which easily leads many people especially young adults like ME to corruption in your brain. Haha. I'm not corrupted all thanks to myself for being such a matured young adult. bleh! bullshit i was tempted though to read the whole story of CORRUPTION. hahaha. Nah! Just kidding because i was sicked by the way the author describes THINGS that i couldn't bear to continue reading it anymore.

Anyway, i do come into some very nice stories which have not been completed yet. I've listed that author down and i'm going to read her future stories when i'm free. Oh ya but her english wasn't so good however it was consider A LOT BETTER because some use singlish and shortforms so i wasn't quite comfortable when reading. Smartlozer didn't and i'm thankful for that. Hmm, the corrupted author, however, despite his corrupted story and mind, i find her english exceptionally good. Way better than heidi? Ooops! Haha.

My eyelids are falling down. Haha! I'm simply fatique and my stomach is rumbling, with the digestive juices screwing my stomach lining. Alamak. I couldn't find any INSTANT food at home and i'm lazy to cook today. Shall starve myself till BaBa comes back. =( I'm a laidback so i simply laze and slack whenever i could. Hehe. Sometimes i was proud of being LIKE THAT. Duh! Anyway, i guess the reason i'm super lazy today is because i'm too drained out and of course yesterday i didn't come back home for a nap.

I told myself i'm going to sleep once i reach home but i never know i started doing housework after i reach home. i just can't bear the sight of hairs all over the floor and thick layers of dust particles covering the tiles, making walking disgusting. Get it? The tabletops were filled with rubbish and food stains and of course some dried rice or noodles sticking on it. It's hard to get it off. *sigh* The kitchen was okay except that the corner was looking like a mini garbage chute. Haha. We put a rubbish bin at the corner and what you expect to see if you didn't aim your rubbish accurately into the bin? Yes. you're right! The rubbish landed next to the bin and stick onto the ground, waiting for ants to devour them. Oooo...

My bookshell was fully-loaded with textbooks, workbooks, five years series, exercise books and aiya.. simply BOOKS!! It was unsightly because everything was messily piled up. The beds were covered with NOT blankets but books and bags and pencils and aiya stationaries!! Haha. Intensive studying period had make me go crazy with books all over the place. To imagine i sleep with all these every night? Nah! Actually not because i've not been sleeping. Maybe a few hours a day? Haha. And i'm not so dumb you-see? Basically during intensive study period i would throw the books and junks from my bed to another bed. Transfering "data". HAHAHA!!!

Then, i'll sleep on the empty bed, at least with no books and junks. Haha. Now my eyes are like a big and another small. I look like a total freak but well, i am at least for the past few days. I've become a monster that doesn't require sleep. Oooo... call me angel! Haha... My back is aching and muscles all over my body is aching and they simply are giving my trouble. Haha. Reason for aching would be yesterday's house chores that made me start cleaning from 11 to 5. 6 hours of cleaning up and right after my didi reach home, he screwed up everything AGAIN. So it's quite useless to clean my homedirtyhome clean.

My neck is breaking too. Oh no! My head is so heavy that it's killing my neck. *my neck was killed* HAHAHAHAHA!!! It's just a simply humour which won't bring much laughter but sacarstic remarks and mostly a shrug on the shoulder and a sound "char!" or "chey!" or maybe "lame." HAHAHAHA. I love telling future tales. It's entertaining lah to me. Hahahaha. Dreaming is the greatest thing i've ever enjoy doing.

I dream about myself being an idol, a star which shines brightly infront of the public, with thousands and millions of fans from all over the world, standing and crowding around me, taking shots and asking for autographs of course most importantly smile and clap when they heard the beautiful voices and songs of me. I would attend many interviews and overseas events and i would be able to sing and show my passion to people all over the world. i would be able to leave a name or maybe a slight memory in this world so when people mentioned my name -Y2- it would rings a bell, even if i'm already dead and gone, away from the living.

My songs will be pass down from generations to generations and be well-liked by people of all ages. Hopefully, TO ALL AGES. haha some old men and women just can't accept new trends just like us, the youngsters today, we can't accept the songs sang by some of the senior singers in the past. Hah! This is call MAO DUN and it's complicated. Youngsters complain adults can't accept the way of living and they don't think asking themselves these questions. Our own selfish thought. Like what my Leo-baba always said to me, "YOU GO SELL FISH LAH". HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Humans are selfish and greedy. we want more and we demand for more when we have more! We never know when to stop and we never know what is "MOST". Got it? Hmm, today's entry is so enlghting and whiney. Enchanted life mah so must chant chant chant my own piece of Da Chang Jin. Bleh! Just kidding. Enchanted life doesn't mean that. It means the search of my own REAL imaginary world and the sharing of happiness when i've reached that sacred place. Haha! Mission possible.

Whheeeee~ Enough whinings! I shall go to my dreamland now... Zonked.

Enchanted Life Two 5 October '06 Thursday

It's on the same day but i'm going to define my blog title name for future purposes.

Hehe.

Enchanted means..
1. To cast a spell over; bewitch.
2. To attract and delight; entrance.

To me, it means both lah.

Life means..
1. The general or universal condition of human existence.
2. The interval of time between birth and death.

To me, it means both too...

Okay basically i wanted to make it like Disney Land, a place that will be very MENG HUAN. i wonder what's that in English. Maybe, dream land i-guess? or Lala-land? or in that case, YY-land. Hahaha. But something like Disney land that creates legend and give hope to children. I mean to me, Disney Land or Disney creation provides me with a space, a world or a place that is filled with dreams and an ideology that everything is possible even though i know the story tales can never be true. BUT, it gave me hope that it's true. Hmm, a REAL imaginary world... can i say that?

Aiya very hard to explain but other then that, it somehow also helps me to develop my own set of beliefs, personality, objectives and purpose in life and the main thing - the creative and innovative side of Y2.

oooo i can understand what i want but i don't know how to express them into words that can allow you to understand. What a sad thing. really hope i can share it with you guys so that it might also help you to develop a new side of you that you might not have discovered? It's important to know the objectives of your life and of course the beliefs you hold. Understand? Doubt so. HAHAHAHA.

Enchanted Life One 5 October '06 Thursday

I'm starting a new chapter, people. Before I begin on a new story, i have to complete my purpose of Obsession. Got it? Hahaha.

Talking about outdated things which happened months ago but to make an end, i shall blog it today instead of dragging it... haha. Eh, Last two days was horrible. We will be having a concert in Ngee Ann Secondary in the evening and the Boys will leave Singapore the next day. Sad.

We had stupid time after the concert, in the hall of Ngee Ann Secondary School, taking silly photos. Camilia, Fiona, Shi Han, and some 3e7s all came to support us. sorry i only remember this three people. Hahaha. Anyway, they simply took loads of pictures. Not really much because everyone is snatching for their chance to take photos with the boys and we were also trying to do the same. it's like playing tug-o-war, the boys IS the rope. HAHAHA. offered a hug. rejected a hug. in the end, gotten a hug. OOO... Cool! HAHAHA. i still miss the hugs. i never know a hug can leave such deep memory in my life. Shall not elaborate furthur on that, that really embarass me and leave me felt like a vinegar. Hahaha. Duh! *blushed* Anyway, i climbed the wooden-ladder like structure behide the hall to take picture with the rest. I'm The tallest in the photo! Oooo... HAHAHA!!! Ah Thank you. I mean the ladder structure behinde the hall. Hahaha.

Anyway when it was time for the buddies to take photo with the boys, i did something stupid. My face was kena blocked by a Melbourne guy (unknown. don't recognize) then i just use my whole strength that i have and push his head down. HAHAHAHA!!! Very forceful one. He simply just turn to see which idiot did that on him. It's me! Duh! HAHAHA regreted so much, i just don't know what's going on with me that day that made me do that. HAHAHAHA!!! what a sway guy he was!

I took picture with the teacher too but not mr chua. I wanted to! But i was given the chance but i took one with mrs percy? Hahaha. i forgot her name but she's a kind lady. she took picture with me!!!! HAHAHAHA. Then i simply boast about with the photo and cedrick was like diaoz... HAHAHAHA...!!!!

Anyway, i was excited and totally drained out after meeting the boys for about a week. i didn't sleep much. i went back home late and slept late eversince they reached singapore. HAHAHA. my eyebags grew... larger and darker. Oh ya! And shazlin. i buay tahan her foundation cream? whatever that's called lah i know nuts about cosmetics and irritaing make-ups. i only wear them during performance and compeition? whatever. i helped shaz to "cream" her face and she helped me to "cream" my face. HAHAHA. i must say i look exactly like VINCENT BAI!!! HAHAHAHA... so damn pale and white! i looked so damn ER XIN can? i was completely shocked to see myself in the mirror. i looked like a geisha??! HAHAHA.

i started panicking and kept slapping myself so somehow remove the cream? whatever. Too white i looked abnormal. i kept asking people is my face alright and many commented i'm SOOOOOO WHITE! HAHAHA. anyway, i don't look good with make-ups on my face. Yucks. Hate the make-ups. Hmm, then i was served drinks by my Ngee Ann friends whom i know them through camp. I completely don't regconise him as a student leader/prefect in school? He doesn't look like one the first day i saw him. BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hmm, then they left the school and we went home. i saw Farhanah crying. i saw myself not crying. I was thinking, "hey! why cry? Hahaha. There's no reason for me to cry." i just can't force tears. HAHAHAHA!!! But i never know... i can tear too huh? dumb me. that will be the next day lah but i haven't finish the concert day. well, we went to the macdonald nearby and saw wei yin, anna?, si jie? and weslie? alamak. i forgot lah. haha then zi ying, ah lian, bao hui, cedrick, dominic and me... i think just the few of us sat around started chatting non-stop but we are very cautious to our surrounding. ehem ehem. shall not elaborate much on that. HAHAHA.

Home sweet home.
I haven't got the time to get my buddy Nhat something meaningful. I've been cracking my brain even before they come. I hope to get something that represent Singapore but at the same time UNIQUE and nothing ORDINARY for him, at the same time, i wondered what will he be getting for me (something from Australia). Haha. we've chatted on msn before he came.

Cedrick and I had already get things for the others. However, i still have to get something for my buddy bah... same goes to cedrick who thought of making a book too. I bought the materials needed two days ago i supposed but don't really have the time to start the making of book due to choir practices. In the end, when i went back home after the concert, i started on the book immediately. I ended work at about 2 am which is like OH MY GOD so damn late. But well, satisfied of course because i think it's quite nice. I was locking myself in the room with smoke coming out from the window of the room because i was simply burning the whole place down! No lah i was burning the edges of the paper to make the whole book look rather ancient and BURNT! HAHAHA!! HOWEVER, it looked rather fragile and i scared Nhat might just tear it in accident or the cover might just come off? HAHAHAHA!!! Dumb.

Anyway, i'll be meeting Bao Hui and Cedrick downstairs (my block) at 4+ the next morning? i forgot the time maybe slightly later but well, i overslept because i was really tired. i only slept for less than 2 hours hello? It's only when cedrick called (they were already downstairs) then did i jump out from my bed and go rushing downstairs with my hair untie, my shirt untuck, my face still un-awake. HAHAHA. if i didn't remember wrongly i don't remember myself burshing teeth. Ooops!!! Hahaha it's okay lah i tried that before. i forgot to bring toothbrush and toothpaste during a camp and end up not brushing my teeth for 3 days. HAHAHA...!!! i know it's disgusting but well babies don't bursh their teeth either! HAHAHA. *bad breathe*

We reached the country club and saw them packing the stuff and that. Marc came out to welcome us? we waited for the RIGHT moment topass him his present. Hahaha. OMG! come to think of that, i still owe one particular person a present. I hope i remember to send it over during the december holidays. People remind me hor! hahaha. he gave my a koala keychain and i gave him nothing! Argh! hate myself for being so careless. The pass present to lots of people but not all because we're simply broke! sorry! luckily, i shared money with cedrick or else it will not be sufficient.

It was a sad moment when they bid goodbye to us. we took picture with them again. saw camilia, heidi and shaz. Erm, should be the three of them only. haha. i'm definitely not crying i told myself. I didn't! Haha. Nhat saw me holding onto something which was his BOOK. who's the author? Y2!!! HAHAHA! I told him that i'll give it to him at the airport so he was like following me when they reached the airport. Bah! HAHAHA. In the end, i couldn't bear any longer and gave it to him. i told him to open it on the plane and he didn't listen!!! Kaoz. he saw that and he said it was nice. I wonder if it's true. Haha. Should be? or not? because he... (shall not talk about sad things) no i better say it here before i burst. Because he... i guess he didn't read the book. Hahaha. he actually doesn't know i wrote my address in the book! DUH!!! Hahaha. so i guess the book doesn't mean anything to him hor! *humph* and to think i spent my precious night making that book, killing my lungs with the smoke for burning the paperS! Hahaha.

Pathetic cedrick's book. It was simply atrocious with chunks of papers without proper filing. HAHAHAHA!!! He pass it to marc and told him to organise it himself! AW!!! i see "sincerity" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OKAY THIS IS FUNNY. eh, exchange hugs again. how many boys have i hugged that day? WHAT A FLIRT I WAS THEN and maybe now, still!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm really going to miss them alot i couldn't bear to let go HUGS. Simply hug dao siao. HAHAHAHA. really couldn't bear to see them leaving and i just wouldn't want to let go. I broke the longest hug record that day. With swaying hugs. Hahaha hug while you sway. I find it fun. Super long SWAY-Y hug, i've gave my buddy.

AH!!! SIMPLY LOVE THEM LAH. HAhhaha!!! don't want them to go. idolise them? maybe not to that extent but really, they occupy a special place in my heart or maybe (IN REALITY) my memory space. HAHAHA!!! Because only humans' brain can think while hearts can't! so i was wondering why people love saying, "broken-hearted lah", "my heart bleeds lah" all those kind like what i've did in the past and maybe sometimes in the present.

Hmm, when they enter that WANG BA DAN don't-know-what gate separating us with stupid glass windows in between. i finally can't hold my tears any longer and cry my heart out. actually i won't cry de lor it's all ah lian's and garyn's fault. I saw ah lian's eyes filled with tears (about to cry) and when i turn my head not to look at her teary eyes, in case it will also kake me cry, i saw garyn CRYING!!!! He simply ON my water tap can? Hahaha. i started seeing blur vision. i wipe my tears away but again, tears just kept flowing out from my eyes, drowning my eyeballs. HAHAHAHAHA!!! They went in. I looked from outside. I cried even harder. Then, as if i'm going to die, i got the sudden urge to find someone to pour my tears into. i ran to shazlin for SHOULDER! HAHAHA. stupid me. it's the first time i ever felt this ever sadness that made me got the urge to hug someone just for comfort and a shoulder. It was so drama, i-know. i only see such things on TV and i never know it will happen on me. Dumb. i couldn't stop and i just kept gasping for air so that i can continue crying my heart out. HAHAHAHA. i just wanted to cry. and cry. and cry... What a -no comment- ! Ah camilia kept on consoling me but i couldn't help but kept on pouring.

On the way to the MRT station, i somehow tried to stop crying but when i', nearly going to stop my tears from flowing, i thought of them again, and tears came flooding my eyes AGAIN. *sigh* Upon mentioning all these really brought back lots of memories. HAHAHAHAHA!!! In the train, i finally stopped. HEHEHE. Then, i started seeing people in the train who looked like them. From the boys to the teachers! OMG! We were totally so damn obsessed our brain simply started fooling ourselves. That's why i called my past chapters "obsession". We were late for school that day but the KIND SOUL MR. TAN LET US OFF!!! Whoo~ thanks for the luck! i mean the boys! HAHAHA. lame.

Well, then the most pathetic thing happened. We stepped into the classroom, we saw the chairs and tables that Marc and Nhat had sat on 2 days ago. Cedrick took out his bottle and we saw the word "AQUA" written on it. The first thing we thought of is Eugene (KUA) Alamak. everything that we've come contact with reminded us of them which then resulted in... the two of us STARTED CRYING DURING OUR FIRST 2 periods OF BIOLOGY - MR. TAN's LESSON.

Actually hor, i won't cry de leh. it's cedrick's fault. i saw his tears, then i saw mine too. dumb. Then we cried together in class. Yes. We sat beside each other so it's super funny to imagine two people in a class of 42 crying at the corner of the class. HAHAHAHAA. we cover head with bio textbooks so that no one can see us crying although everyone in class knows that we were crying then. HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA!!! now recalling all these stupid things, i laughed instead of feeling down. We cried for almost 1 hour!!! HAHAHA.

The most hilarious thing is that we cried and laugh at the same time because when we cried and lok at each other, we find ourselves stupid and kept talking amongst ourselves. Mentioning things like ya lor the bottle reminds me of Eugene or ... aiya silly things that make us laugh and cry at the same time. we used up packets and packets of tissue, flooding not only our eyes but the tables as well. It was really bad. Mr Tan was caught in surprise to see two idiots crying and i know he's going to say something. he talked about "Bak sai" (shit) hahaha. Lame.

we laughed but our tears can't stop. it's funny. we feel so sad but we laughed. It's a bit OUT. haha. anyway, we managed to not do any worksheets mr. tan gave us and he didn't reprimmand us for that because we cried so we got the priority!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! bullshit sia. And this also means that we didn't listen in class but our own mutterings and sobbings.

Okay, basically, a weird day. Okay, finally i ended my obsession chapters with this and those days with them shall be stored in the deepest part of my memory space NOT USED FOR STUDY. Hehehe i kept that memory space for personal uses.

Obsession (38). October 04 02:08 PM

Yeah. (fake) Lots of whinings for today. It's 04 October today. I remember myself writing 02 October 2006 on the test papers yesterday. Dumb.

(do you know i'm super super super super super super super super super super super upset and disapponted now?)

Depressed. Sad and gloomy; dejected; downcast. Nothing can save me from this situation...

Since Sunday, i've not been having proper sleep. At most 3 hours of sleep per day. I'm not trying to gain sympathy here because i don't deserve any. It's my fault for not starting my revision early thus resulting in myself unable to complete my revision on time which in turn led to THR BURNING OF MIDNIGHT OIL. Duh!

I... am currently quite speechless. My head is full of millions and millions of NOTHING. Blank. Since Monday, my luck had been rather bad. When you have no luck, anything can happened.

On Monday, Geography Test Paper, i did an extra question which had made me wasted time. I can write a more complete answer if i didn't do that extra question. I could have score better. And if i can score better doing Question 3 then Question 2, i'm going to blame myself for the rest of my life. Seriously serious. I've been disappointing myself times and times again.

On Tuesday (which is yesterday), E.Maths Paper, i lost 10 marks. Not because i don't know how to do the questions. It's because i don't have the paper! Duh! Confused? Yes. There are supposed to be 16 pages, 21 questions on the question-and-answer booklet. i checked the number of pages and find 15 pages only. i asked around if there are 21 questions and the answer was yes and i thought yeah i must have miss out (counting) the back of the front page which was a blank page. Dumb me. After finishing the paper, i left with 15 min. i was so happy with myself that i'm able to finish the paper with time for checking. In the end, when i saw fiona flipping through her paper, i was so shocked to see a page (that has polygon diagram). I don't remember myself doing such a question. Then, i realised i've miss out a page and time's up. I handed the paper.

I thought i will only lose 4 marks (which that time i was already whining and whining about it) and i never know when i met Mr. Teo today, he told me it was 10 marks!!! there are 2 questions on that missing piece of paper. I'm so sway. I'm so careless. Who can ever be as dumb as me? I checked 5 times and still, i had a missing page which COST 10 marks. Like what i've just said, when you're so down on luck, anything can happen.

On wednesday (which is today), I didn't finish social studies paper. Time was insufficient even though i've already tried my best to write as fast as i could from the start of the exam. I lost 6 marks as a result. A. Maths Paper was a disaster. I never want to mention it again after today. I was simply demoralized by the first question. When time's almost up, i realised i can do some questions which i totally don't know how to at the beginning of the test. I reprimmanded myself then. WHY DID I GIVE UP SO EASILY AT THE BEGINNING? In the end, I complete almost not a single question. I simply flunk it, screwed the whole thing up. The first ever paper that i've felt completely lost, in the world of Abstract Maths. I cursed the setter. "@#%$#^%$&^%*&$%!@!!!!" I cursed the paper. "@!@#$!#^$*$%@#!!!"As what i've said again, when you're damn down on luck, anything can happen.

Lack of Sleep. Lack of confidence. Lack of time. Lack of practice. I'm so troubled now. I've no confidence at all now. Lost all of it to A Maths Paper. I guess it's a wake up call. I need to do something about it. I need to change. Drastic change needed. Oh well! Nevermind i'll reflect on it after the exam and shall now concentrate on what to do after holiday, even though it doesn't make me better because after holiday will be the toughest period... the darkest period of my life. I have to face the shocked and disappointed faces on the people who are around me. I have to bear with the tears that will soon be streaming down on my cheeks once i'm alone. I have to simply continue living. Living in this world that i've mess up with all my ridiculousLY POOR GRADE. I'm going to carry and keep a report book that has red lines under many many marks.

My life will be pile up with tonnes and tonnes of responsibilties, stress and regrets. My feets will leave a very deep footsteps on the path that i'll be walking till i reached the end, i guess i won't be able to count the number of steps i've taken. Too much to remember. Too much to do you simply can't stop and enjoy. You simply can't afford to waste the time to count and recall what you've done in the past. That's a bad thing that had resulted from the hectic and frantic stress of city life. NO! Modern Student's life. We're simply not treated like students. We didn't have a very memorable childhood. We were treated like robots which were given the same task each. That was to study.

My feets are growing heavier and heavier, and i'm dragging myself to walk on. I'm slowing down. I'm stopping down. Almost to the point of giving up but as i have said in the past and have persist and insisted until now that i can never give up. It's impossible to give up now because even if you want, you can't. Robot can't choose, they follow the instructions that were directed to them. They are made with the functions to do this to do that SO they have to do it! I don't want to be a robot. Even if i do, i want to be a robot that can choose the path that i want. But still, i have to keep on going and not give up, doing what other robots are doing now - study, Study AND STUDY!!! Hopefully, life will change after ending my life as a student. I'm going to change it even if it WON'T CHANGE.

Okay enough of my nonsense. Now we've come to the part where by i'm going to list down things i'm going to do before, during and after holiday.

Before Holiday (Right After My Last Paper)
* Plan for my plans (i have to organise everything neatly because i'm confused.)
* Get Money from Mdm Yue to buy choir stuff
* Find Mrs Chua to tell her my ideas (if feasible, ideas have to be implemmented before holiday starts) + He Lao Shi's request
* Plan for YEC - Adam's Haunted House (timeline and all that)
* Family Matters (My Brother's UPGRADING courses)
* Meet up with Wei Yin (+ Benny for choir stuff e.g. mess meeting) *Need reminder coz i'll forgot*

During Holidays
* Clean up my rooms
* Plan for my O levels
* Wash my school bag
* Go ice-skating (at least twice)
* Go Arcade (at least twice)
* Go K-box (at least once)
* Umbrella's birthday (surprise-planning)
* YEC's meetings and preparation
* Touch-up my blog (Uploading pictures)
* Intensive A Cappella Training
* Intensive Beatboxing Training
* Intensive Studying (i'm sure we have to come back to school during holidays *grumble*)
* Intensive Choir practices
* Intensive Choir RESTRUCTURING
* Intensive filming and photo-shooting (if we're going to Malacca - i mean choir)
* Intensive working ($$$$)
* Intensive self-reflection and restructuring

After Holidays
* IMPLEMMENTING ALL THE STEPS I'VE PLAN FOR MYSELF

whoo~! more to come i-think. i've lots of to do during holidays. i'm feeling slightly slightly slightly very slightly better... at least not as bad as JUST NOW. *sigh a hundred times*

Obsession (38). October 02 03:34 PM

A Change of Song for a change of Mood. That Michael Jackson is killing me. Too Blue-y everytime i hear it. I tried Typing chinese in the end, blogger sucks and chinese character could not be displayed here. Well, nevermind, haha. Just want to whine about today...

Today, Geography and Mother Tongue Paper 1. For Geography Paper, i merely flunk it. Haha. Dumb me. First, i used more than 30 min on Map Reading, which is consider super bad. Secondly, we're suppose to choose to di either question 2 or 3 and DUMB ME CHOSE BOTH!!! I did both and waste my time like that.

I was doing the paper and wondering at the same time why the time doesn't seems to be sufficient for me to complete that dumb paper. ARGH! Only when i close the booklet of answer sheets then did i realise i only have to choose to do either question 2 or 3 AND NOT BOTH!!! i grumble to my own dumbness and whine and whine and whine non stop!!! That point of time, i really feel like dying. Hah! I'm dead. For chinese paper 1, i didn't even care to scan through the question because i was really zonking out... lethargic man.

However, i still manage to complete the paper. yay! haha. On my way back, i was still blaming myself for my dumbness and myt carelessness. actually i did scan through the instruction given at the top of the paper but because i just merely "scan" through, the information wasn't process into my brain so reading it is like not reading. no difference. i think only the numbers appearing in the instructions enter my head. The number "1","2","3". HAHAHA!!! DUMB ME DUMB ME!!!

AIYA!!!!! TIRED LAH!!! DON'T WANT TO TALK LE LAR!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh!!! I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!! ANYONE SCOLD ME NOW!!!! SCOLD ME!!!!!! SCOLD ME DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REPRIMAND ME BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLAME ME!!!!!!!!! SCREAM AT ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sob sob*

COCKEYE Y2~!!!!!! *SIGH*

Obsession (37). October 02 02:58 PM

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To ALL MUSIC LoverS:


15 Nov 06, Wed, 7.30pm Esplanade Concert Hall


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I'm saving for 4 Meals now and can't afford the tickets!!! *sob sob*

I still owe 4 people 4 meals. duh! Saving 50 bucks! go Go GO!!

Tickets selling at $45, $60, $75, $85 & $95 !!!

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- NEW YORK POST

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WOOO!!! TICKETS SELLING FAST (i suppose. 8) hehe.)

Obsession (36). September 31 10:48 PM

Nothing can stop me!! I'm blogging here. Haha. The Reason is....??? Because i can publish a chiense entry here. I need to. I'm sorry because tomorrow is my higher mother tongue paper 1 COMPOSITION!!! I... just need to blog. Corrently, i'm very blue. i don't know why. Maybe due to PMS. It's all Nhat's fault... He asked about Period the last conversation and then i started PMS-ing to myself. I've yet to explode to anyone (maybe mummy BUT not much. +< sorry mummy!) Now let's start the chinese entry. (wonder if blogger can use chinese to blog not...) Haha...


我好難受,好痛苦,心理好亂,七上八下的,搞得我一整天,只要一個人的時候,心情就變得會特別低潮.我... 不知道自己在想些甚麼,可是當我一沉醉在自己一個人的世界里時,總會想到他. 哈哈! 我是個大白痴.有誰同意? 哈哈! 現在的我有很多問題要面對. 我好煩好煩, 拼命告訴自己,''我要堅持下去!我不能夠放棄!". 我可能不放棄的原因不是因為我堅定的意志力. 我能夠不放棄是因為我知道我不能夠放棄. 我很清楚知道我一若放棄,我之愛的合唱團將會跨倒. 我很清楚的知道我一若放棄,我將無法完成我的夢想. 我很清楚的知道我一若放棄,我將會失去自己. 我很清楚的知道我一若放棄,我之前所做的事情將前功盡棄. 我知道我若一放棄,我一定會對不起很多很多人(YEC,合唱團,老師們,家人,朋友和我自己.)

我有太多太多的事情未完成. 我有太多太多的責任要負. 我有太多太多理想要實現. 我有太多太多事情未嘗試. 或許就是這些太多太多的 ''不負氣'' 型成了一股力量讓我堅持到今天仍然都沒有一絲絲想要放棄的念頭. 這不是意志力. 這是責任. 這是愛. 愛讓人不顧一切. 我深愛著合唱團. 它讓我不放棄. 我想拯救她. 我想為她付出我的一切. 我愛她. 但是愛她讓我付出了很多代價. 愛它讓我感到又幸福又傷心. 我常常為她默默流淚. 有人知道嗎? 也許每個人都認為我很誇張. 真是愛到要死嗎? 對呀! 沒有錯... 當然不只是合唱團的責任, 也有YEC的責任, 也有一些我寫不出來的痛苦. 我需要有人听但是... 又是但是...哈哈. 但是那個人必須是一位陌生人似的朋友. 因為那個人不會洩漏秘密. 我能購物局無數的向他訴苦,向他吐出心中所有的不愉快,壓力,難過和痛苦. 這個人存在嗎? 世界上有著這種人嗎? 可能吧... 我再尋找著他... 人們所謂的''知音''. 對嗎?

其實我外表看起來無事可是心里一直在掙扎. 有時候我真的無法呼吸,真的無法呼吸... 快要窒息了. 有時候走到好累好累... 希望家人能夠體諒,能夠幫忙... 但是... 但是... 越幫越忙. 他們沒有一個能夠了解我的心情. 有人問我,''那你有有沒有跟他們說呢?''. 對呀! 我沒有跟他們說. 我選擇保持沉默,一声不吭. 我的錯. 我的錯.

我正在學習如何去接受和愛... 因為只有這樣生活才會快乐一些... 但是我不愛自己. 認為自己太過虛假,太過不是自己,太過不真实,太過不聽話,太過力不從心,太過懶惰,太過膽小. 最恨膽小的自己. 沒有有用. 墮弱無能. 廢物一個. 爛! 哈哈. 哈哈. 哈哈. 笑著自己的愚蠢... 我想很多... 想很多... 是也想不是也想... 想到我自己都怕自己...

我已經想多,想傻, 想怕了... 不想去想太多了... 我要讓我的世界純真一點, 笨一點, 開心一點, 美好一點. 我可是完美主義者耶! 澹然不可能讓我的生活陷入地獄般的鬼世界. 我要讓它變成天堂般的無悠無慮. 我要狠狠的愛我的世界. 我要做個快樂又幸福的人. 其實,我本來就是了. 我只要學著去愛...

首先因該是自己吧! 哈哈. 只要我能夠過我自己這一關... 我就自由了! 現在就開始吧! 我要自己學三個基本的東西:

1. 禮貌 (對每個人基本的東西)
2. 分享 (一定要心甘情願得分享自己擁有的東西)
3. 堅持 (減肥! 五公斤!)

哈哈.

好了...
我長大了嗎? 不. 我還在成長.

我想以前. 我想現在. 我想未來. 我想...

天阿! 我還欠人東西耶!

Ms. Anna - $7
Ms. Shaz - $1
Ms. Poh Geok - 一頓飯
Mr. Kelvin - 一頓飯
Mr. Uncle Low - 一頓飯

哈哈!! 晚安!!! 要開心哦!! 哈哈. 真噁心! 裝可愛~!

P.S. i'm feeling better now after blogging... it really helps. So thankful... you can see my mood getting better as i blog... Ooooo amazing!!!